WEBVTT

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Don't you, Kaiser Hotel! A room, please. A single. Just for one night.

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That her name is Vedicant.

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Niement. No. Nobody. Nobody.

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To knock my little girls

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The.

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Good night, Frank V the Kent. Didn't you always tell me easy living people go easily to their deaths?

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I don't go easily. Leave with a broken heart.

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My sister she had retired but often as we took tea in the adjoining room. Then she let out a scream that falls a blood to all ice she had cut his throat and gutted out her life.

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Blood stain under carpet by the jail. My face and I've so cheap What makes a tears so tidal drowning are so deep in thoughts of suicide all confidence is lost yet everybody harsh Just solo at our family.

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My mother, she was sewing father's shirt. When murmurs or my sister seized her heart She told a cotton from the needle then you see she swallowed it and followed it with And the needles caused my mother tried to hide till they lodged within her kidneys.

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Life so cheap what makes our team so tidal only got so deep in thoughts of suicide all confidence is lost in everybody hide It does so

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Soicide.

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Tillie never

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Tilly Vedicant Oh Terry, nobody!

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Oh Oh

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Lulu of Course! That's for all the trouble started.

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Ladies and gentlemen Let's talk to the zoo. They're mana to be some claw and Joe and woman does too.

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It's the first night our friend Bede Kids play Pandava's box And I claim the leading Lord of Nuru.

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I'm only 18, I've been acting for years. It's the last act and I'm veiling in the Right again, He's not only the author of the piece, he's also a very famous actor.

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That is wonderful man. Not handsome, but think sad. A small mountain and he's shaking.

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To blame Jack the Ripper has got stage fright. So. Kiss him backstage. And we make our entrance.

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Night after night I see in my dreams The man for whom I was created. And who was created from me?

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Was that you, Frank Vader County? Was I created for you. Did you create me?

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Is that what happened tonight at any holiness? We're at the house of the famous artist, Emm and Holenson.

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He's painting a portrait of me in the Piero costume. It's the main prop in both the Frank's Lulu place, Pandora's box and Earth spirit.

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It had one of their spirit the artist Sparts is painting Lulu as a piano but during the sitting Schwartz takes his chances What you're trying to do?

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You can't catch me out of this carrot costume. All the kingdoms of the world lie there at my feet.

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Mind as a deep ditch, don't fall in. How do I feel? Like I'm born in a river.

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Which is colder the river or my heart That's to play. Do not remember me and Harlan says, Drank Edicant is also there.

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After dinner, I go up to the studio to put on my Piero costume and totally inverse have elegant and he takes his chances No, I'm not going to kiss you.

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You smell of tobacco. Suddenly her VEDICAN stops in his tracks. But this is the first act of Earth spirit!

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How do you write such stupid plays, I reply?

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What did I say? If Frank Lloyd is stupid and I must be stupid because and Frank's place.

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No, Frank's plays are my life, but

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Did I become Lulu or? Was Lulu already me? Maybe it's both. Maybe that's why I excel as Lulu.

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Why I never present Lulu with a play for teasing ease. She's naive in her depravity, the witching little tease.

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She's a gorgeous little, unreserved recognition for such gorgeous little tender is but as for her fade again Yes, as for her pay to kiss.

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It's a kill! Well, have they the kit? He writes me a

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Dear FI know that. I congratulate you on your success.

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Have the inclination for us to play together. I can take no competition with me. Oh

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I understand. I'm very logical. After all, I'm an unknown actress and he's a national icon.

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So, I go back to Franford and Frank works on his play, Hedala.

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But it's not enough. I want to climb that small mountain.

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Dear Her Vedicant

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To a former. Dearest Frank. Too intimate. Dear have they decant.

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It is not nice that you are not taking care of me. I found you very impressive. My director said that your director one might work with me.

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It is not easy for me to write personally to your director so I write to you instead.

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Did I write Frank into my life or did he write me into his? Who knows, but, October eighteenth till he never arrives in Berlin to star in Frankfurt against Hidala.

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October, the nineteenth, Tilly and Frank go to dinner together. She goes back to his place. October 20 eighth Tilly now Vedican's mistress.

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November 20 third Tilly and Frank Pose nude for a photographer.

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December tenth. Tie and Frank have Manaj Artois. Would actress Eda Orla.

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Chilly let's Frank Beat her with a riding crop? Is this the right? Cord Frank you're the master you come on just one slap from your manly hand the Lord comes just one slap from your manly hand the Lord comes washing through my bloodless cheek Let me hurt me, make me weak.

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It's here inside me fueled a fire. The aging devil called Whatever he wanted. I gave him pleasure for dad was the bar that would bind us together I have to make a choice about you to form you in art or to love you.

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You're a very talented man, Mr. Surely you can do both.

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At the end of the evening took E.

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After you left, I found dead. Completely empty.

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That's not possible. He doesn't believe in your talent. He doesn't believe you're capable of becoming an actress.

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Women are actresses by nature because no woman can keep a man happy by being sincere. Not my words. They're yours from your play.

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Music. They sound like my words, but they're not. Yes!

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Destiny!

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Yes, Frank's right. I am in love with my own destiny. We're at a theatrical event in honor of our great poet, Heinrich Heine.

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Frank's written a prologue. Is performing at himself.

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It's about me! He's written a dedication to me! I said in the stalls and I feel elated.

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After the performance, we all go out for champagne.

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Hey.

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Richard Vine Herbert, a famous composer. Delivery. So much about you I'm not flirting Frank, I'm just being polite.

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What's a matter of fact? Yes, of course I like the dedication. That

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I said thank you. Established friend if you carry on like this you're so cruel

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No, Frank, stop it! If you carry on, I will do something. I don't know what, maybe this.

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See That's how much you're insults hurt me.

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Good, fine. Let's go home. I'm ready. What did you say, Richard?

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Watch out, you kill herself. Where are we going? I don't want to go back to my lodgings.

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What is your, You see, your big plump bed!

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Where you going, Frank? Don't believe me.

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He'll come back in a minute.

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Don't tell me you've gone to a bar for a glass of beer? How can you do that?

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How can you.

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Snow! From

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I don't play frank returns. He sees the feathers everywhere and he bursts into a fury.

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He grabbed some of my photographs from his sideboard, smashes the glass and stamps on my face.

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Yes! The oil! My photographs

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I seized a moment and ran out of his apartment. I'm half naked, but I can't bear it any longer.

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All right, across the street, 3, I leap straight in. Which is colder to river or his heart!

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Oh, stretched towards me! It's the boatman who holds me out of the freezing water Her friend runs down the stone steps.

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They wrapped me up in Frank's coat. And then carry me up to his lodgings.

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Frank kneels by the bedside and weeps the whole night through.

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Weep, Frank. Don't beep.

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I have a massive burn on my upper arm where the hot glass cylinder of the oil up must have stuck to me.

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I didn't even notice. I wonder I didn't burn myself to a cinder. The next morning.

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Sits on the bed. Says

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Marry me.

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Say the right thing, Tilly. So do I think?

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Yes? And thus we are engaged. A dream. Or is it a nightmare?

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Should a marry in? Shouldn't I marry him? This marriage a huge threat to my precious independence?

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He's 22 years older than me and I'm like wax in his hands.

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But if I don't marry Frank. Who am I, Tilly? And if I do marry Frank

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Frau, Frank Vedicant? Wife of the famous author?

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Should I open this Pandora's box?

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I love, I honor. I obeyed. Open. I open.

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Till death us do

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Yeah And now for the execution.

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Oh, wedding feast. A picnic at Munich Zoo. The music?

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The snarling and cackling of wild animals. A honeymoon, a trip to Nuremberg.

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Well, I suppose you could call it our honeymoon. Its real purpose was our guest performance in Frank's new play, Death.

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And the devil. Well, he is not for once in your life the superhuman sacrifice of woman's love is capable of.

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All I want of my marriage is to lie at your feet and to listen to you.

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Hmm. Nuremberg already.

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What time is it?

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We take a carriage straight for our hotel where we're creatures by than night quarter.

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And, and daughter, is it? Already our marriage is not going well.

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Second, excuse me. I don't think his behavior is that surprising. It's 4 o'clock in the morning, I'm young, alone.

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Besides, I think he's a little bit tipsy. Thank you, you'll never guess what happened just now.

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What are you want me to do? Box the man's ears, challenge him to a deer!

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Deed him up or what? I had unwittingly painted the devil on a wall. The devil of jealousy.

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And the death of our marriage.

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Is this the right?

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Okay. But the first is of a marriage you would lord me to the skies. Quite the most to live a creature with the most alonging eyes, but as fast as you can raise me and as high as you could raise me you would throw me to the depths of the, where the tenderness and softness of the kids.

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When I glimpse the toys colours of your heart, that was in all the flowing loving at the start but you thought that if you gave me even half of half a chance I would lead you on a merry dagging dogs So you train me like a tiger with your most uneating sticks.

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You shouldn't fear me, you should love me, you would say. And I told you my activities and a lot on little cards, every movement I was making every moment of the day because I honor you and cherish and obey.

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Playing a wife properly and she'll support her husband twice as easily as he can support How does he handle the intellectual side and difference the marvel, the family.

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Even at the tokstuper which you pose on your hardest, I can barely lay my eye before the accusations fly.

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I feel we're And all that's left for me to beg forgiveness for the things I didn't do and to offer my apologies for all loving you.

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If I can not, I recognize my wife. And let her go and take her own life.

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Really, Frank? Is that what you want? Or are you just coaching from your play at Castle Benchine?

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I want what you want. My life is still alive. I want so much to make your life peaceful.

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Your home beautiful. Try to be an ideal wife for you I shall leave and put a rubber on the heels of my boots so you don't hear me walking around the apartment.

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Think? The dead! We mustn't make her very decant. You know how late he sleeps and you know how easily he's disturbed.

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No, he's not in good humor at the moment. Oh, I don't know. I think he's unhappy that I'm at rehearsals every day.

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Does he not understand I'm still in a five-year contract? Perhaps once an ideal husband opens, he'll be far Yeah.

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Yes, Adele, I do get to see Harry Valdon every day. I know he's much adored, but he's also a very fine actor.

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That's right. I played a girl he falls in love with. No, don't have anything.

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She isn't happy about that either. It's my job, I did. A man came to understand some an actress.

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Sometimes. We have to act falling in love with other men.

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Of course it's much easier when the man is as charming as Harry No, no, So do I take?

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I'll break my contract. Will pull out of an ideal husband. So what if it's a huge success?

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So what if I could change my whole career? It doesn't matter just married. Besides a baby.

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Me strong value over the whole proceedings. My dad and Frank. I love you very much!

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Is my life. Frank is my voice. I love him very much.

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There is no point in my helping other playwrights to become successful. That is more important for both of us.

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That plays are successful. I understand that. Very logical. Everything that I have gained independently as an artist.

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Everything that I have gained independently as an artist.

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Everything I have.

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Is preferably Forgotten. I have become a person. Only through Frank.

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Besides.

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You are a very heroic man, Frank Fazikins. Very handsome. Very charming. And you know so well how to create appealing situations.

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How do you know Friends and a Ken? How did you? There's a jar lightman's devotion to The selfless v

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You affect me very strongly, very strongly indeed. And in return I put on boots.

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And costumes. And I know what happens. Tilly's high boots don't let you sleep, do they, Frank, they can't?

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My red boots. And my buckskin boom.

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And then when I dance for you

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And, And, Oh.

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Sorry. It's not your fault, you don't give me satisfaction. I just can't seem to reach the

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Oh, it's not you. I find you very attractive. Thing is for me has always had a lot to do with erotic stimulation, well you know that, it is for you too.

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When I find an act or attractive Scenes on the stage inevitably become

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Intense? The free love market where the tigers celebrates her to Things only happened on the stage.

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Every time I've been unfaithful, he's found me twice as beautiful. I was stubborn, Frank, these are not my words.

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They're yours from your plague, Castle Venus died. Things only happen on the stage.

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In front of an audience. The first time I've brought my marriage rouse, lad was the saddest, so stubborn, These are not my words.

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Behind the scenes!

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What am I supposed to do? You write these parts for me.

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And then when night after night you leave me alone to the early morning hours.

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I know where you go, Frank. I smell that perfume. Women for you are either holy all forms.

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Holy or a horse. And which am I, Holy. Home. Of clung.

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As Frank afterwards of Clara for me in his play music.

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Listen.

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Look, Frank, it's new, Lou. What are you trying to do? You can't catch me.

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Not in this pier will cost you. While the kingdoms of the world lie there at my feet.

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Mine doesn't deep dare time. Calling. Full thing. How about you?

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Forwarding.

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What do I say next, Fred?

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Please don't silence me. Frank? Please don't leave me!

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He's gone again. He's gone. So I'd like to tell you,

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My darling Frank, I am powerless against my own self loathing. Please come back to Munich and help me to figure out who

01:03:23.000 --> 01:03:31.000
No, no, There is nothing that I want to write.

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To you, thing that torments me and you're right there is nothing that I want to write that is so much that I want to tell you to prove a true love But how do I know how you will interpret it?

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But I wasn't drowned when I jumped into the river. I am taunted as a cuckold.

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People make a mockery of me because of your previous love affairs. Things only happened on the stage, Frank.

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In place you wrote for me and me if you don't understand this to me it makes no sense my coming back to you with best regards if Don't believe.

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No telegram, please.

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Today I run back and forth like a madwoman in my room. I wrote a ladder of 6 pages which I don't dare send for fear of being misunderstood.

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So I don't like to say the right thing.

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Right to you and your 2 little girls, your children whom you adore and they adore you too.

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May not leave this apartment for a while. Who knows if I can even leave this bed? I'm afraid of having a breakdown caused by these experiences.

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Have you tried dancing?

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Laugh!

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Oh

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Yes. Suggestion I tried dancing

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Was talking about.

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6 postcards, 6 telegrams, 22 letters, 6 postcards, 6 telegrams, 22,

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Must I be dead to prove that you mean all to me? Tilly n Till the vitacent.

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Tilly nobody? Oh Whatever you want, Are you ! Right and to see. 4 different concept 3 of them boys in And it always cause sister doesn't get frank.

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People are used to it in the circus but not in the theater. You love the circus, don't you, Frank?

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And you love making me show my legs.

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The fourth part. A demon creature.

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My, yeah. Nightmare. I wear this short little skirt that sticks out like a bed.

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And our balance on the wall. It's rolls across the stage.

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Because it's very difficult. That's great. Every time.

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Is this the right key, Frank? So you try me like a tiger with your most uneating legs and I play my colds and rats and still I exercise this bit I take singing I take dancing and I start to eat all your moments you measure me I know done what I pay and the ideal of a woman that you both from your plane you control my mind your body every day and you trust me up in costumes and you tell me

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what to say and I put our girls in children's homes Whenever we're away because I

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I could divorce if I wanted to but I know it's far more advantageous to be. Mrs. Tilly Frank Vedicent, the MUST Tilly Nervous, a middle-aged actress in a medial cathedral.

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And so we go on our endless guest tours and my world rolls a beat in leap in these bright feet.

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Darling, Tristan, Cartes.

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Notices, I get good notices. Hello? Frankfurt, Nancy, Ken. Frank gets bad notices.

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I get weak Goodbye, girls!

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Stuart can't do it! Bad notices, I get bad notices. Stop it!

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Stop it!

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Why do you condemn us, as actors?

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Thank you, to me about diction and articulation and a lot of other skills. I've handed a habitat, cramped and stillhood and I'm not sure enough.

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Find it, I guess.

01:10:17.000 --> 01:10:22.000
Sorry everybody, I have no idea what

01:10:22.000 --> 01:10:28.000
We'll be talking about, ation.

01:10:28.000 --> 01:10:33.000
9.

01:10:33.000 --> 01:10:39.000
Yep. Stage management.

01:10:39.000 --> 01:10:42.000
Anybody?

01:10:42.000 --> 01:10:57.000
Somebody just me what to say. Me a line. Falling. Oh into the abyss.

01:10:57.000 --> 01:11:08.000
Lost somewhere between the actor I'm decaying to and devoid.

01:11:08.000 --> 01:11:11.000
4.

01:11:11.000 --> 01:11:41.000
My authentic talents. Talons which used to bring me success are Blocked. Sensors.

01:11:45.000 --> 01:11:54.000
Censorship. Franks born act play. Written? Especially for me.

01:11:54.000 --> 01:12:03.000
A Pandora's box of a very different kind. My whole life. Drag it up, spewed out.

01:12:03.000 --> 01:12:11.000
My mother's melancholia! My father's infidelities, my own desire to be common actress.

01:12:11.000 --> 01:12:16.000
Wanna leap into the river spree?

01:12:16.000 --> 01:12:24.000
Even the Manager 12 with Iodolov. The intimacy that he failed from me in private.

01:12:24.000 --> 01:12:35.000
He displayed unashamedly for the public. A savory thing was displayed, including my body.

01:12:35.000 --> 01:12:51.000
More of my legs than ever before. Nothing at all was. Sense so much.

01:12:51.000 --> 01:12:58.000
Logan, darling. Would you like me to ride around a room on your walking globe?

01:12:58.000 --> 01:13:03.000
Does that not entertain you anymore?

01:13:03.000 --> 01:13:09.000
Worth nothing to you. Without an adoring audience.

01:13:09.000 --> 01:13:21.000
Walk, you. All you humiliate yourself to endure living with me. I would like doing it if I thought that I could be useful to you but the More, I change myself in a chord with all your wishes, the less I mean to you.

01:13:21.000 --> 01:13:34.000
Sometimes you don't even see me when I'm sitting right in front of you.

01:13:34.000 --> 01:13:40.000
C to you. Let me explain.

01:13:40.000 --> 01:13:59.000
And That I saw a dancer Dance on an elastic wire Benet her feet and thighs were fast and glinting night and her eyes were flashing with desire as she danced across the swinging cable.

01:13:59.000 --> 01:14:16.000
And then she

01:14:16.000 --> 01:14:27.000
And I see you as you sit there I see you're pressed your legs your lips your hips your hair I see you, your eyes.

01:14:27.000 --> 01:14:46.000
Master Gold walked a tight hole above the glinting Thank you. And this was the character that I husband had created for us.

01:14:46.000 --> 01:14:51.000
Cracked reflection about to start itself.

01:14:51.000 --> 01:14:55.000
And we were willing to play this creature.

01:14:55.000 --> 01:15:04.000
We're an actress! It's our survival. After all, without Frank May, the kin too, are we?

01:15:04.000 --> 01:15:12.000
Without French words. We had nothing to say.

01:15:12.000 --> 01:15:21.000
And say the right thing, Tilly. And say the right thing.

01:15:21.000 --> 01:15:27.000
Darling?

01:15:27.000 --> 01:15:31.000
No.

01:15:31.000 --> 01:15:41.000
And have nothing to say to each other unless it's your camelly crafted dialogue.

01:15:41.000 --> 01:16:01.000
And yet strangely it's through Frank's use of our words that we finally free ourselves on stage as cadet in sense ship we're no longer falling We're flying, flying from a dark cage towards the light.

01:16:01.000 --> 01:16:14.000
And every night there's thunderous applause. And we're lauded by the critics like.

01:16:14.000 --> 01:16:22.000
We're sorry you don't come out so well, Frank. After my death, you will have a wonderful life, so much money and my wonderful reputation.

01:16:22.000 --> 01:16:52.000
No fact that is not true. After your death, the girls and I will be sad. Do you hear me?

01:16:55.000 --> 01:17:02.000
Just should perhaps know that Frank has been seriously ill for quite swam years. It's his appenzic food.

01:17:02.000 --> 01:17:10.000
It won't heal. Watching it to war and derationing, we can't always get what we need.

01:17:10.000 --> 01:17:19.000
Very few people know of his illness, not even our 2 little girls. Several times he's been close to death.

01:17:19.000 --> 01:17:25.000
But each time he works relentlessly.

01:17:25.000 --> 01:17:33.000
We must all forgive him. He's a great man. A true artist.

01:17:33.000 --> 01:17:47.000
What's that for? You want to go away? Where? To Bavaria, what do you mean?

01:17:47.000 --> 01:17:50.000
Say the writing, Danny.

01:17:50.000 --> 01:17:55.000
Sorry.

01:17:55.000 --> 01:18:01.000
Understand. I'm very logical.

01:18:01.000 --> 01:18:04.000
He wants to go away.

01:18:04.000 --> 01:18:21.000
Hello. He's talking about divorce! What am I done to Just a little

01:18:21.000 --> 01:18:31.000
That's what I need!

01:18:31.000 --> 01:18:32.000
You see Frank, those are your words from your plays, but now they mind, you made the mine.

01:18:32.000 --> 01:18:45.000
Where do your words end and my own thoughts begin. Who am I, Frank? Who is Tilly Van to Kent?

01:18:45.000 --> 01:18:54.000
10 is too depressed. I have given her parts to another actress. What? I have given your parts to another actor.

01:18:54.000 --> 01:19:09.000
I have given your words, my lives. What will I say without my parts? This is the greatest hurt you could ever inflict on me, Frankfurt again.

01:19:09.000 --> 01:19:18.000
You have broken our contract. You have betrayed me entirely! Say to my name, Jill, he said the right thing!

01:19:18.000 --> 01:19:26.000
Shut up, Tilly. This is the right thing. I haven't put my life, my talent, my whole career entirely a churchy spouse all.

01:19:26.000 --> 01:19:39.000
To mention my body. Was all of it for nothing. It was my sacrifice for nothing. You have given my thoughts to another actress, which is serious.

01:19:39.000 --> 01:19:46.000
Ha!

01:19:46.000 --> 01:19:52.000
Great injustice has been done to me.

01:19:52.000 --> 01:20:19.000
Being left out. Code

01:20:19.000 --> 01:20:27.000
So quiet. Without him.

01:20:27.000 --> 01:20:33.000
So peaceful.

01:20:33.000 --> 01:20:39.000
What do you think about what he's done to us?

01:20:39.000 --> 01:20:42.000
Me too.

01:20:42.000 --> 01:21:00.000
No, already! Crank will return and all our troubles will stop all over again. I would rather die.

01:21:00.000 --> 01:21:09.000
For the supplements peers. The ones like to solve in water, faith is a pentex board.

01:21:09.000 --> 01:21:13.000
Poison. See?

01:21:13.000 --> 01:21:31.000
Oh yes! Go on.

01:21:31.000 --> 01:21:38.000
I was, Finally, my sister!

01:21:38.000 --> 01:21:57.000
To the psychiatric hospital. Oh! That house! Had the room so small the windows barred the donor keyhole No, don't take my wedding ring!

01:21:57.000 --> 01:22:01.000
Of course I won't follow it! I'm not mad!

01:22:01.000 --> 01:22:13.000
Oh please Frank, start pacing. I do.

01:22:13.000 --> 01:22:17.000
To come here.

01:22:17.000 --> 01:22:30.000
Finally, After again! Another ambulance this time! I'm not.

01:22:30.000 --> 01:22:43.000
Okay. Oh! That was good. The pain!

01:22:43.000 --> 01:23:10.000
First and How much did my skin? No, don't bathe me Hey, my skin!

01:23:10.000 --> 01:23:19.000
Finally. Nature helps herself. Out through my skin. The poison.

01:23:19.000 --> 01:23:30.000
Every day I'm rubbed with oils. And the room is covered in skin. Snow!

01:23:30.000 --> 01:23:40.000
The skin on my hands is as hard as parchment. One day I pull it off like a pair of gloves.

01:23:40.000 --> 01:23:44.000
The lines of my life are mapped upon it.

01:23:44.000 --> 01:23:50.000
New skin beneath. As tender as a babes.

01:23:50.000 --> 01:23:54.000
You skin on my hands.

01:23:54.000 --> 01:24:01.000
New life in my soul.

01:24:01.000 --> 01:24:09.000
No, Frank. I cannot come back to you. I don't want you near me right now.

01:24:09.000 --> 01:24:19.000
I know it's been 2 weeks but I still don't want to see you. I know it's been 4 weeks, but now it's my turn to ask for a divorce.

01:24:19.000 --> 01:24:33.000
I have my choices now, my future, my Korea Dear hair director, Ga Haichdat, I would very much like an engagement at your theater.

01:24:33.000 --> 01:24:40.000
I used to play Juliet and Viola and Ophelia. You see, Frank, I don't need your words anymore.

01:24:40.000 --> 01:25:03.000
I have Shakespeare and Sheila and Gerda. One day I may even have words

01:25:03.000 --> 01:25:07.000
Each day I go strong.

01:25:07.000 --> 01:25:19.000
And each day I I realise it's not entirely Frank's fault. My depression. It's not entirely Frank's fault.

01:25:19.000 --> 01:25:33.000
My sister. Christ. You cut his throat and gutted out her life.

01:25:33.000 --> 01:25:36.000
My mother was depressed.

01:25:36.000 --> 01:25:46.000
She followed it. Followed it with 3

01:25:46.000 --> 01:25:56.000
There is much that is great about Frankfurt. He's a true artist. IA very flawed man.

01:25:56.000 --> 01:26:00.000
He himself was in great pain.

01:26:00.000 --> 01:26:17.000
We cannot get divorced, Frank. As you yourself wrote in Earth spirit, how can you get divorced when you've gone so much a part of one another that Half of your own son would go to.

01:26:17.000 --> 01:26:27.000
I'm all I need.

01:26:27.000 --> 01:26:33.000
Time.

01:26:33.000 --> 01:26:46.000
And time in details casting you. As for in quote My beloved Tilly. I am living in the same apartment in which our old spring awakening 20 years ago.

01:26:46.000 --> 01:26:54.000
The circle is closed. I will die this year.

01:26:54.000 --> 01:27:04.000
And despite all the travel. Despite all the pain. Tilly and Frank. Make love again.

01:27:04.000 --> 01:27:15.000
Oh, bodies are aching! Our hearts are entranced. Frank writes in his diary. Tonight, Tilly.

01:27:15.000 --> 01:27:24.000
Danced.

01:27:24.000 --> 01:27:36.000
After days and nights of you not making love to me That putting all our privacy on show as you take your final breath.

01:27:36.000 --> 01:27:53.000
And as you stumble to your death my darling somehow we can't let each other go Don't a passion and the pain no longer lure me To the pleasures in the promises of night.

01:27:53.000 --> 01:28:08.000
So the way you used to taunt me seems to hunt me down and haunt me with the goals of some forgotten dark delight Tilly dawn says and does she done says she cuss above the veils of silence and despair.

01:28:08.000 --> 01:28:23.000
Tilly dawn says she takes a on a law that maybe was a wasn't bad.

01:28:23.000 --> 01:28:33.000
Though the softness of us Ian has turned to paper and the glitter of our eyes has lost its shine.

01:28:33.000 --> 01:29:02.000
Still the brushing of your lips against the curving of my hips just for the moment seems to kinder the The beating of your heart is like an echo and your rhythm like the oceans on the shore and your breath against my skin holds the confessions of the sins of all those knights in all those arms of all those walls.

01:29:02.000 --> 01:29:32.000
And does she cast away the veils of silence after Till he down, she takes a on love that maybe wasn't even Now I start before you naked, like so, maybe for heaven in the 7 veils, beloved to aided, you know my darling, just hold back the break of morning, let me dance or let me dance or let me dance or let me dance or let me dance or let me dance or let me

01:29:38.000 --> 01:29:55.000
dance or let me dance or let me dance or let me dance or let me dance or let me dance or let me dance or let me dance or let me dance please let me dance my darling

01:29:55.000 --> 01:30:23.000
That night? I slept in our bed. Power of politics.

01:30:23.000 --> 01:30:28.000
Oh, Frank. I'm dressed already, so early.

01:30:28.000 --> 01:30:33.000
From back? Isn't that where your doctors?

01:30:33.000 --> 01:30:40.000
You're going into hospital again. I had no idea.

01:30:40.000 --> 01:30:47.000
Come with you.

01:30:47.000 --> 01:30:56.000
I visited Frank. Almost every day. Sometimes I brought the children down.

01:30:56.000 --> 01:31:05.000
His first operation went very well. And so I brought him flowers.

01:31:05.000 --> 01:31:11.000
Good call.

01:31:11.000 --> 01:31:21.000
A few days later they performed a second operation. Didn't go so well. And during the night, Frank came down with a fever.

01:31:21.000 --> 01:31:30.000
To live. Silly. The next morning they telephoned me. Complications they said.

01:31:30.000 --> 01:31:37.000
Me.

01:31:37.000 --> 01:31:50.000
Okay. Come on, even outside the hospital and down to corridor I could hear him calling.

01:31:50.000 --> 01:31:55.000
Frank!

01:31:55.000 --> 01:32:05.000
3 or 4 doctors came in for a consultation. I was sent out.

01:32:05.000 --> 01:32:10.000
Then one of the doctors came outside to meet me.

01:32:10.000 --> 01:32:14.000
There is no longer any hope, is there?

01:32:14.000 --> 01:32:38.000
Oh!

01:32:38.000 --> 01:32:41.000
I left a

01:32:41.000 --> 01:32:50.000
Then they brought us champagne. Just like in Earth spirit when Dr. Seern asks Lulu for champagne.

01:32:50.000 --> 01:32:55.000
Just after she's fatally shot him.

01:32:55.000 --> 01:33:01.000
Frank asked me to feed him the champagne from my mouth.

01:33:01.000 --> 01:33:04.000
He breathed heavily.

01:33:04.000 --> 01:33:08.000
I held his hand.

01:33:08.000 --> 01:33:13.000
You're here, my darling T.

01:33:13.000 --> 01:33:19.000
Don't

01:33:19.000 --> 01:33:30.000
Suddenly he started to breathe gaspingly.

01:33:30.000 --> 01:33:56.000
Ha! I was breathing claspingly too.

01:33:56.000 --> 01:34:08.000
He had died! Oh

01:34:08.000 --> 01:34:14.000
Can we really really can tell you.

01:34:14.000 --> 01:34:36.000
Thank you. Ha ha! Oh, say the right thing, I do my thing.

01:34:36.000 --> 01:34:40.000
Tilly's somebody.

01:34:40.000 --> 01:34:48.000
Oh.

01:34:48.000 --> 01:35:18.000
Tilly. Somebody.

01:35:24.000 --> 01:35:31.000
Me

01:35:31.000 --> 01:35:36.000
Oh

01:35:36.000 --> 01:35:52.000
The the Oh

01:35:52.000 --> 01:36:06.000
The

01:36:06.000 --> 01:36:18.000
I was over 80 years old when I wrote my memoirs. No, the role of my life.

01:36:18.000 --> 01:36:23.000
Frank had been dead for nearly 50 years.

01:36:23.000 --> 01:36:40.000
After several Break dogs? My young doctors suggested I write my story. Mood lifting medicine they called my treatment.

01:36:40.000 --> 01:36:47.000
No, the role of my life.

01:36:47.000 --> 01:36:55.000
My own words. My own voice.

01:36:55.000 --> 01:37:08.000
Who was you? Whoa, Tilly. Earth's village, a spirit of nature. Pandora's Box.

01:37:08.000 --> 01:37:14.000
Deblinger of disaster.

01:37:14.000 --> 01:37:25.000
Maybe it's time to Hello, De Barks. Draw a veil over all that has passed.

01:37:25.000 --> 01:37:29.000
And leave inside.

01:37:29.000 --> 01:37:36.000
Way of

01:37:36.000 --> 01:37:47.000
Art von to me Never. I was born in April. In 1,886.

01:37:47.000 --> 01:38:17.000
I was wrapped in a baby spinner. And on my little head I wore a veil. Since then I have always loved Sales.

01:38:36.000 --> 01:38:56.000
감사합니다 맛있어요.

01:38:56.000 --> 01:39:08.000
Welcome, you're getting lots of brothers in the chats, Bella. We wanna give you a moment to be with what you just saw.

01:39:08.000 --> 01:39:14.000
And heard and witnessed and experienced.

01:39:14.000 --> 01:39:21.000
I invite you to focus your attention in the area around the heart.

01:39:21.000 --> 01:39:28.000
The chest area.

01:39:28.000 --> 01:39:38.000
Imagining the breath is flowing in through the heart and out through the heart.

01:39:38.000 --> 01:39:45.000
Two's empowerment and being somebody didn't come.

01:39:45.000 --> 01:39:55.000
From performing on a stage or. Being hired and engaged in the economics of entertainment.

01:39:55.000 --> 01:40:05.000
It came finally when in her own words she said someday I might have words of my own.

01:40:05.000 --> 01:40:19.000
The medicine was writing. And I wanna give you all a moment. In digestion of what you've witnessed to write down whatever is here for you.

01:40:19.000 --> 01:40:26.000
Or yourself. What to do experience?

01:40:26.000 --> 01:40:56.000
And I'm gonna give you a couple of minutes in silence. So right.

01:40:56.000 --> 01:41:08.000
If you're looking for some writing prompts. Did you notice when the characters, by the way, a reminder, these were real human beings?

01:41:08.000 --> 01:41:14.000
Could you stay connected to honoring them as human?

01:41:14.000 --> 01:41:27.000
Not just characters. Did you witness when they were incoherent or coherent? Did you travel with them into incoherent.

01:41:27.000 --> 01:41:37.000
And as happened for herd ambassador community when we screened this. To this stir any stories of your own.

01:41:37.000 --> 01:42:07.000
From your own life. You might write about all of those things or whatever you feel prompted to write.

01:43:35.000 --> 01:43:49.000
One of the reasons we loved this piece. At the FUHRH Foundation is because Tilly story in some ways is Everyone's story.

01:43:49.000 --> 01:44:05.000
As humanity is moving from. Simply. Playing out, reenacting. Inculturated survival mode.

01:44:05.000 --> 01:44:13.000
Roles that have been handed down through generations of intergenerational trauma.

01:44:13.000 --> 01:44:29.000
To becoming the authors of a new reality. That we write ourselves. From the intelligence of our inner being and our own heart.

01:44:29.000 --> 01:44:37.000
So I wanna give you a little map of where we're going. For the remainder of our time.

01:44:37.000 --> 01:44:45.000
I'm going to give you a tiny bit of the promise to neuroscience in your flyer.

01:44:45.000 --> 01:44:54.000
With a tool to access that inner wisdom and intelligence. Let's say it like this. Your own words.

01:44:54.000 --> 01:45:05.000
That you might help author a new reality of true empowerment. Not just for women, but for all rather than exploitation.

01:45:05.000 --> 01:45:14.000
And the science behind that. We'll give you an exercise to find those words in yourself. And then we'll open the lines.

01:45:14.000 --> 01:45:24.000
For you to engage with very unique opportunity for us to have the writer, the actor, and the director of this play here with us.

01:45:24.000 --> 01:45:29.000
And for those who can stay for the after party.

01:45:29.000 --> 01:45:42.000
And then, if you are interested, we'll create some breakouts for you to share with one another the impact of this on you or your own stories.

01:45:42.000 --> 01:45:49.000
Is that work for everyone? Bella, are you good with this? Structure in the time we have left.

01:45:49.000 --> 01:45:56.000
Absolutely. Thank you so much, Chabra. I appreciate we only have about 13 min or so left for the formal part.

01:45:56.000 --> 01:46:01.000
So those who have to leave have to leave. Thank you deeply for being here.

01:46:01.000 --> 01:46:10.000
Yeah, so I know some of you are going to other UN events. Some of you are going to bed and I want to let you know all of the remainder of this.

01:46:10.000 --> 01:46:19.000
Except the breakout rooms will be recorded. And you can write to us at support. At hard ambassadors.

01:46:19.000 --> 01:46:34.000
Dot com and putting that in the chat. To request the recording. I also want to say that if you would like a complementary consultation on how to access your own.

01:46:34.000 --> 01:46:45.000
Hearts words. To author your own life. We are providing that for those in attendance today and the link to sign up for that is in the chat.

01:46:45.000 --> 01:46:59.000
So why are women at the top of their game presented in the nude? You heard it happened to Tilly as early as the 18 and 90 early 19 hundreds.

01:46:59.000 --> 01:47:10.000
She posed for naked pictures back then. Why, why? I'm gonna give you my peanuts.

01:47:10.000 --> 01:47:13.000
Lucy's 2 cent.

01:47:13.000 --> 01:47:19.000
Neuroscience. Opinion on this.

01:47:19.000 --> 01:47:24.000
Remember the heart rhythms we looked at earlier.

01:47:24.000 --> 01:47:33.000
Well, those heart rhythms change the way the brain works.

01:47:33.000 --> 01:47:37.000
And so.

01:47:37.000 --> 01:47:44.000
Incoherent heart rhythms, which are a function of survival mode. Fight flight freeze appease.

01:47:44.000 --> 01:47:56.000
Could you see that in Tilly's story? Could you see her and Frank going into? Fight flight freeze appease.

01:47:56.000 --> 01:48:02.000
That shuts down the higher functions of the brain.

01:48:02.000 --> 01:48:17.000
Visionary foresight, innovative problem solving, verbal communication, the very things we need to manifest the UN sustainable development goals.

01:48:17.000 --> 01:48:21.000
When we talk about economics.

01:48:21.000 --> 01:48:36.000
Because people have associated money with their basic needs, shelter, food on the table. Survival. We have conflated survival mode with our economies.

01:48:36.000 --> 01:48:47.000
Sexuality until it is evolved in a human system. An expression of survival mode because it is how the species survives through procreation.

01:48:47.000 --> 01:48:57.000
As women have entered the economy, we've conflated their sexuality. And our survival sexually with economics.

01:48:57.000 --> 01:49:05.000
And we have exploited women's bodies. Through that conflation.

01:49:05.000 --> 01:49:09.000
We can change that.

01:49:09.000 --> 01:49:16.000
This heart rhythm trace literally changes in one heartbeat.

01:49:16.000 --> 01:49:26.000
With the technique you practiced earlier. We'll do it now. Focusing attention on the area around the heart.

01:49:26.000 --> 01:49:28.000
The Chest area.

01:49:28.000 --> 01:49:36.000
Imagining the breath is flowing in through the heart and out through the heart.

01:49:36.000 --> 01:49:42.000
Breathing a little slower, a little deeper than usual.

01:49:42.000 --> 01:49:54.000
It's helpful to create physiological coherence and the shift. From one operating system to another, from survival to thriving.

01:49:54.000 --> 01:50:00.000
When the inhale and the exhale are even in length.

01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:07.000
If you find it helpful, you can count as you breathe in.

01:50:07.000 --> 01:50:14.000
And count as you breathe out to invite that even inhale.

01:50:14.000 --> 01:50:19.000
Even Excel.

01:50:19.000 --> 01:50:29.000
As you do that. You are self regulating over 1,400 things in your physiology.

01:50:29.000 --> 01:50:38.000
Including the part of your brain perceiving life and responding to it.

01:50:38.000 --> 01:50:49.000
Now I invite you to breathe in through the heart and out through the heart a feeling of appreciation. Or compassion.

01:50:49.000 --> 01:50:58.000
Or someone or something in your life.

01:50:58.000 --> 01:51:05.000
As you breathe in through the heart.

01:51:05.000 --> 01:51:14.000
And out through the heart.

01:51:14.000 --> 01:51:22.000
Perhaps we could all breathe compassion for in this exploitation we've witnessed.

01:51:22.000 --> 01:51:31.000
In these art forms we observed today.

01:51:31.000 --> 01:51:40.000
And from this. Place. Of appreciation. Let's also breathe appreciation for Bella and her partner Miles.

01:51:40.000 --> 01:51:43.000
For the creation of this work.

01:51:43.000 --> 01:51:48.000
As we breathe in through the heart.

01:51:48.000 --> 01:51:55.000
And out through the heart.

01:51:55.000 --> 01:52:08.000
And now notice. The changes in your body. Emotions and thoughts.

01:52:08.000 --> 01:52:19.000
And ask your inner intelligence what we would call your heart intelligence for its perspective on what you wrote earlier.

01:52:19.000 --> 01:52:49.000
Is there anything your heart would like you to know or see? And take a moment to write down whatever comes to you.

01:52:55.000 --> 01:53:09.000
Some people are putting it in the chat. Hannah wrote time to change the narrative. Yes, and that is a new story we want to author together.

01:53:09.000 --> 01:53:14.000
Give me a thumbs up or an emoji if

01:53:14.000 --> 01:53:24.000
Your heart's response was different from your initial reaction. And it's quality. Was there a different response?

01:53:24.000 --> 01:53:27.000
Your heart gave me.

01:53:27.000 --> 01:53:35.000
I'm just curious. You wrote your initial reaction to the play. I see some people nodding. Gene is nodding.

01:53:35.000 --> 01:53:44.000
We'll get to hear from those who wish to share. In the after party.

01:53:44.000 --> 01:53:51.000
We believe that the Fira Foundation and that tool we just did is called the freeze frame technique, slightly modified.

01:53:51.000 --> 01:54:00.000
From the heart Math Institute and for those who wish we will send the technique. In worksheet form out with the recording of this.

01:54:00.000 --> 01:54:05.000
If you request it. At support. Heart ambassadors.com.

01:54:05.000 --> 01:54:09.000
Einstein said we cannot.

01:54:09.000 --> 01:54:19.000
Solve the world's problems from the level of thinking that created them. We have to shift from survival in imperative to collective.

01:54:19.000 --> 01:54:32.000
Thriving to do that. And this simple physiological shift to heart intelligence. Is the way we do that here.

01:54:32.000 --> 01:54:44.000
That can empower us to make new choices. Because we are not passive in bibers or consumers of culture.

01:54:44.000 --> 01:54:53.000
What we tolerate in our athletes attire in our entertainers.

01:54:53.000 --> 01:54:57.000
Creates culture.

01:54:57.000 --> 01:55:08.000
With the power of the heart. We can become more conscious consumers and therefore curators. And creators.

01:55:08.000 --> 01:55:13.000
Of our culture.

01:55:13.000 --> 01:55:24.000
Bella, I want to give you, the final word of our official panel. Presentation and then we'll have a little after party for those who can stay.

01:55:24.000 --> 01:55:34.000
To share your words and experience and ask. Questions of Miles and Bella. Or Bella and Mes.

01:55:34.000 --> 01:55:45.000
Thank you so much, and thank you everybody for the attention and the thoughtfulness in the comments. And my parting.

01:55:45.000 --> 01:55:54.000
Response really is that I know I have students who are in the midst here. And I thank you for being here.

01:55:54.000 --> 01:56:07.000
And I'm aware that young people go out into the entertainment industry. When the 2122 23 barely Oh, aware of who they are outside of education or family.

01:56:07.000 --> 01:56:26.000
So this ability to listen to your true self and your own artistry and how to evolve and work forward with that is is so important and I think these tools that you've shared with a Shiva and a little bit of them I tease into my acting classes.

01:56:26.000 --> 01:56:35.000
Are incredibly helpful and simple. So thank you and thanks to everybody for going on the journey with us over these 2 h.

01:56:35.000 --> 01:56:37.000
Thank you.

01:56:37.000 --> 01:56:49.000
And it's not even, right? 2122. For those who choose to stay, I could share a story of me when I was 9.

01:56:49.000 --> 01:57:01.000
Explated in the entertainment industry. Young. But we're all young in our survival mode. It's the infantile brain.

01:57:01.000 --> 01:57:09.000
And we can all access the power of the heart to evolve. Not only ourselves, but our culture.

01:57:09.000 --> 01:57:18.000
So thank you for your participation in the commission on the status of women. And Tara was saying, yes, she's familiar with this.

01:57:18.000 --> 01:57:27.000
Wonderful comments coming in through the chat. I encourage everyone to read through it. Thank you. So much everyone.

01:57:27.000 --> 01:57:39.000
For being here in Hannah's words. To help us rewrite the narrative. And with that for those who need to get to your next event, we will record the rest.

01:57:39.000 --> 01:57:49.000
I invite you to find in the lower task bar. If you scroll to the right. There's a place where it says reactions.

01:57:49.000 --> 01:57:56.000
And if you click on that, it gives you the option to raise your hand. Well, it will allow you to ask a question.

01:57:56.000 --> 01:58:08.000
And I think what I will do. Is Miles also available for questions as the director? Bella.

01:58:08.000 --> 01:58:11.000
Is that a yes?

01:58:11.000 --> 01:58:14.000
He is, I think he's outside.

01:58:14.000 --> 01:58:18.000
He's outside. Well, he just put something in the chat.

01:58:18.000 --> 01:58:20.000
Miles, are you available for comment?

01:58:20.000 --> 01:58:23.000
Yeah.

01:58:23.000 --> 01:58:26.000
He's trying to figure out how to unmute himself.

01:58:26.000 --> 01:58:33.000
Alright, I'm going to also spotlight miles and of course I'm happy to take questions as well.

01:58:33.000 --> 01:58:47.000
If anyone would like to raise your hand. And has a question for the artists. Or a comments.

01:58:47.000 --> 01:58:55.000
Here we go. You're also, we're small enough that you're also welcome to just simply unmute yourself.

01:58:55.000 --> 01:59:04.000
And share some of these beautiful comments about the impact of this piece of work and incredible art. In the chat.

01:59:04.000 --> 01:59:13.000
You're welcome to so unmute and share them. With others here.

01:59:13.000 --> 01:59:19.000
So, while people are are sorting out, here we go. There's a question in the chat.

01:59:19.000 --> 01:59:31.000
How much time did it take you, Miles, and Bella to prepare for this performance.

01:59:31.000 --> 01:59:52.000
Thank you Veronica and in a in a way I'm gonna sort of unpack that word prepare because there's obviously the preparation one does immediately before performance and then there's the preparation leading up to this and as I outlined at the in my little spiel it's taken 30 years to get to where it is now.

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In terms of the first iteration, and Miles, do you want to talk a little bit about the, the rehearsal process?

02:00:01.000 --> 02:00:06.000
Well, I think if you remember, we just threw it about. There was a lot of improvisation.

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We, we started with a basic script that Bella had written really. I mean, I'd occasionally made the odd contribution, but I think it's largely, you know, 95% Bellas writing.

02:00:21.000 --> 02:00:31.000
And so we were up at Davis, in fact, to UC Davis. And we, yeah, we knew we had, we wanted to do a performance of it.

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We were a great believers in the power of theater and how it can Change people's ideas.

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And we, I think we've really started it was a period of about 4 weeks, 5 weeks when we really got down to it.

02:00:50.000 --> 02:01:00.000
And decided what we wanted to do. We knew for instance that I think Frank Bedkin had tried to get Tilly to walk on a ball.

02:01:00.000 --> 02:01:06.000
I don't, and so we knew that was the instance one element of the, of the piece.

02:01:06.000 --> 02:01:15.000
And as we progress through rehearsals We just found certain moments that we wanted to highlight and other moments that we didn't and I remember we cut.

02:01:15.000 --> 02:01:22.000
The odd line here and there, but very it's very much the piece is very much as it was written.

02:01:22.000 --> 02:01:27.000
I don't know if that's your recollection, but it was a long time ago.

02:01:27.000 --> 02:01:39.000
Yes, then the only other thing I would add is that we knew that I mean what solo pieces are tricky because you're asking the audience to attend to one voice and one face for an awfully long period of time.

02:01:39.000 --> 02:01:55.000
So the we knew that we needed Frank and Tilly to appear as puppets and we knew actually there's one moment you hear Frank's voice and that's Miles so he makes his appearance and and the the puppets were an important thing.

02:01:55.000 --> 02:02:18.000
We we structured it so that we knew every say around about every 7 min there would be a different moment as Miles would say a moment of magic of some sort because we knew to go to the place of depth that Tilly's autobiography takes, we needed levity and surprise and joy.

02:02:18.000 --> 02:02:21.000
And we also wanted to be a bit misterous when I said to Miles that I wanted to write a moment where it was as if I had forgotten my lines.

02:02:21.000 --> 02:02:32.000
He said, why do you want to do that to the audience? But it was a way of showing that because Tilly herself suffered stage fright.

02:02:32.000 --> 02:02:42.000
It was a way of us collectively going on the journey together, collectively breathing through that moment of, I don't know who I am, I don't know what I say next.

02:02:42.000 --> 02:02:48.000
And for that peeling away of the onion layers to show the vulnerability of somebody standing. In front of a group of people, and not knowing what they say next.

02:02:48.000 --> 02:02:58.000
It's a tricky question because Miles and I could talk for hours about it. So we should put a PIN in it there.

02:02:58.000 --> 02:03:00.000
But thank you for the question.

02:03:00.000 --> 02:03:09.000
Well, I don't know that you need to PIN it there, but I you're reminding me Bella, an experience I had seeing it this time.

02:03:09.000 --> 02:03:20.000
Right in that moment where you forgot your line and then there's a place where you almost admonish the audience Why are you so critical of us?

02:03:20.000 --> 02:03:31.000
And it gave me chills this time because it is so easy for us as consumers of culture to dehumanize that which we are looking at or.

02:03:31.000 --> 02:03:51.000
Listening to. Rather than and so. It is such a wake up call and I loved that nuance of that invitation from you in the writing.

02:03:51.000 --> 02:04:05.000
And you gotta thank you from Veronica. For answering the question. Does anyone else have something you'd like to ask or share?

02:04:05.000 --> 02:04:13.000
So I'm seeing Yoshi's question in the chat and I want to share that Yoshi is one of my really wonderful students.

02:04:13.000 --> 02:04:23.000
So I thank you for that question. When playing Tilly, did you ever blend some of your own feelings, experiences and emotions into Tilly or did you create Tilly as a completely separate being from yourself?

02:04:23.000 --> 02:04:33.000
How did you train for the board? We'll get to that in a moment. Well, they always a plan to have more of a bear open stage and if so, how did you guys go about playing with the space and if so, how did you guys go about playing with this space?

02:04:33.000 --> 02:04:37.000
Okay, lots and lots of stuff there. Okay, lots and lots of stuff there. All right, so, and lots of stuff there.

02:04:37.000 --> 02:04:38.000
All right, so, and lots of stuff there. All right, so, and Yoshi to some extent may have a little bit of insider.

02:04:38.000 --> 02:04:57.000
All right, so, and Yoshi to some extent may have a little bit of insider info here because of having taken a few of info here because of having taken a few of my acting classes but it's for me it's always a blend of what the playwright's given or the screenwriters given and they don't necessarily know us at the time they're writing but also our authenticity our

02:04:57.000 --> 02:05:19.000
truth in our lives so it's where do those 2 overlap. And the truth is have invested more in Tilly as I've got older because I've the paradox is the more distance I have on my first encounter with Lou Lou and Chilly's life and Frank's life.

02:05:19.000 --> 02:05:33.000
The more distance I have, the more I can actually go deeply into it. And the image I always use for for acting is it's a little bit like being a really well crafted flute.

02:05:33.000 --> 02:05:44.000
The flutes well made but it's empty. And the words come into the flu like the music and the breath come into the flute to create that music.

02:05:44.000 --> 02:05:50.000
So in some respects again it's a contradiction but to some extent I try and vacate my feelings in order that the feelings can come through.

02:05:50.000 --> 02:06:00.000
There's part one, part 2. Miles, do you want to say anything about the ball stunt.

02:06:00.000 --> 02:06:10.000
Well, you, I remember we knew we knew that Tilly had to walk on the ball. And then at one, it it was one afternoon.

02:06:10.000 --> 02:06:16.000
Bellis was that walked on the ball and then she'd learned to walk on the ball through my son.

02:06:16.000 --> 02:06:25.000
My son had done gymnastics at at school and he was able to help her. On the ball how to balance the ball.

02:06:25.000 --> 02:06:45.000
But when it came to rehearsing it, she then sang a song, the song on the, which she sings on the ball afterwards and I said Well, why don't you walk on the ball and Play the loot at the same time and she said, well, what do you mean walk on the ball and play the loot and sing and walk on the ball and I said yeah why not she said well I'm not

02:06:45.000 --> 02:06:48.000
sure I'm like gonna do that. And I said, well, of course you can do that.

02:06:48.000 --> 02:06:52.000
Just do it. Go on, do it. And the very first time she did it, it worked.

02:06:52.000 --> 02:07:10.000
And so we kept it in. And then, you know, we were, we're a bit naughty because We wanted to we wanted to egg the audience on so we knew that there was a moment when she goes up to the ball and then she says Well, it's very difficult, you know, and it's a great laugh.

02:07:10.000 --> 02:07:17.000
She does that and there were moments as Bella has said before that we wanted to just We wanted to test the audience.

02:07:17.000 --> 02:07:19.000
It was like when she when she forgot her lines and she then basically makes the audience feel very uncomfortable.

02:07:19.000 --> 02:07:35.000
And I think that was part of us trying to, that, you know, realizing that the audience were going to feel uncomfortable anyway about the peace.

02:07:35.000 --> 02:07:42.000
It's it's a rather harrowing piece of times. But I think that was all in there.

02:07:42.000 --> 02:07:43.000
In the mix.

02:07:43.000 --> 02:07:48.000
If I could just evolve that a little bit as well, that it's not so much tech for me.

02:07:48.000 --> 02:07:54.000
I mean, obviously there's the directors outside perspective. There's the actor writers inside perspective.

02:07:54.000 --> 02:08:03.000
I, it was more play with the audience. And I used that with very Definitely that we are playing together.

02:08:03.000 --> 02:08:17.000
And when I said to Miles, I want to have this moment where it looks like I've lost my forgotten my lines and he said why do you want to do that and I said because I wanted to have this organic moment together he said oh only if you bring the audience back to safety very quickly.

02:08:17.000 --> 02:08:27.000
So I knew that in the crafting of that I would sew in this idea of throw me a line, throw me a line, I'm falling, I'm with the recurring images of falling in the river jumping in the river.

02:08:27.000 --> 02:08:33.000
And also I suffered chronic stage fright for about 7 years and I in fact ended up writing a book on it because I needed to understand what was happening in my brain.

02:08:33.000 --> 02:08:51.000
And and the recurring image for people who suffer stage fry and I noticed that somebody in the chat said, oh it's Melinda, they're off and stage fright can feel like falling into an abyss of lots of famous actors such as Olympia.

02:08:51.000 --> 02:09:00.000
Lots of famous actors such as Olympia, are lots of famous actors such as Olympia Dukakis, Lawrence Olivier, have, have said, of famous actors such as Olympia Dukakis, Lawrence Olivier have said that moment of stage fight is like this black void.

02:09:00.000 --> 02:09:04.000
So I was playing with recurring images that people who's like this black void. So I was playing with recurring images that people who've had stage for is like this black void.

02:09:04.000 --> 02:09:09.000
So I was playing with recurring images that people who've had stage 5 feel and playing with the audience and I valued Miles saying only if we bring the audience back to safety.

02:09:09.000 --> 02:09:13.000
The other thing I should say about the walking on the ball. Is, there's a paradox in that as well.

02:09:13.000 --> 02:09:24.000
What Miles's son Max taught me was to move the ball forward you have to walk backwards and I love this idea of counterpoint or to use some of the.

02:09:24.000 --> 02:09:35.000
Terminology that Chevy uses in different contexts the polarity to go forwards I need to go backwards that that balancing is kind of pleasurable.

02:09:35.000 --> 02:09:43.000
It's also terrifying. I get scared every time I do it. But also, I was very aware.

02:09:43.000 --> 02:09:50.000
That there's that delicacy that Miles and I could be mirroring Frank and Tilly.

02:09:50.000 --> 02:09:57.000
The Frank got Tilly to walk on a ball and she had a much smaller ball and I should say the smaller the ball the harder it is.

02:09:57.000 --> 02:10:04.000
And he got it to walk on a small ball with heels on little character shoe heels. I don't do that.

02:10:04.000 --> 02:10:10.000
I do it in in So that flat rubber plims. And when we first did it, I had a very light, a 3 foot ball.

02:10:10.000 --> 02:10:16.000
It's now 2 feet. So the smaller the ball the faster and but it's easier to tour to football than a 3 football.

02:10:16.000 --> 02:10:21.000
But I, I was always suckly aware that we were mirroring what Frank got to need to do by Miles saying, yeah, walk on the ball.

02:10:21.000 --> 02:10:26.000
Yeah, we'll go on the ball and play the loot. Yeah, walk on the ball and play the loop and sing.

02:10:26.000 --> 02:10:43.000
But it was with pleasure and complicity as as actor, director, creative artist. And the final thing is in your questions, Yoshi, yeah we initially had a much bigger set and that's almost why I didn't do much with Tilly for 10 years was because the set was too big.

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Then when we had this invitation 2 years ago to take it to the East Coast, that was when we went, okay, let's now get a set that's much more manageable.

02:10:53.000 --> 02:11:03.000
And actually it's always thanks to the diff, that when you've put about the different atmospheres.

02:11:03.000 --> 02:11:12.000
The atmosphere is a created. To some extent through the rhythm of what we're doing and to a large extent through the lighting.

02:11:12.000 --> 02:11:23.000
And I have to thank Ben Tusher who is the production manager and the lighting designer at UC Riverside because in a moments, you know, he had about a day to do it.

02:11:23.000 --> 02:11:30.000
He created some beautiful atmospheres. So thanks to that. Thank you. For that series of questions, Yoshi.

02:11:30.000 --> 02:11:32.000
I hope that answers them.

02:11:32.000 --> 02:11:38.000
Thank you, Bella and Miles. I want to add one thing and then we're going to get Steph in.

02:11:38.000 --> 02:11:49.000
Which is when you talk about stage fright. And how stage freight leads to forgetting the line.

02:11:49.000 --> 02:11:55.000
That is the very neurological physiology we've been talking about. That fight, right?

02:11:55.000 --> 02:12:05.000
That's the stage freight. Freeze appease is the physiology going into survival mode in a situation that isn't survival based.

02:12:05.000 --> 02:12:10.000
And it even shuts down the memory centers.

02:12:10.000 --> 02:12:20.000
And so it's pointing to the fact to me that what I personally took away from Tilly. Nobody becoming Tilly somebody.

02:12:20.000 --> 02:12:36.000
And at some point, Bella, perhaps before we close up shop in the next 15 min, you and I can share the evolution of My input to you on the taking the upside of the story rather than the downside that was that was its own commission on the status of women.

02:12:36.000 --> 02:12:39.000
Evolution of the process.

02:12:39.000 --> 02:12:51.000
That we can't economically empower women or empower women and girls. Just by creating outer contexts of empowerment and opportunities for engagement.

02:12:51.000 --> 02:12:59.000
Without giving them tools to access their inner power, whatever the circumstance.

02:12:59.000 --> 02:13:05.000
And with that, I am going to replace. Myself here.

02:13:05.000 --> 02:13:07.000
With Steph.

02:13:07.000 --> 02:13:15.000
I'm going to say something. Amazing. I'm going to say something. Love, love.

02:13:15.000 --> 02:13:27.000
Love the the drying moment as an actor who has made a career of drying on stage. And Miles is saying, yes, you have to bring him back.

02:13:27.000 --> 02:13:37.000
Somehow you got to get you've got to find your way back somehow anyway something that we talked about last night, Miles.

02:13:37.000 --> 02:13:49.000
Bella. About the this is about the actors craft or the obligation and why not

02:13:49.000 --> 02:13:54.000
Given the context, make this about women.

02:13:54.000 --> 02:14:01.000
You have an obligation to pass your energy to whoever is listening.

02:14:01.000 --> 02:14:13.000
And if that involves. A house of actor, a house of audience that is some distance away.

02:14:13.000 --> 02:14:16.000
It's the same thing as in a room.

02:14:16.000 --> 02:14:26.000
In context of intelligence that you have an obligation to fill the space. You have to be heard from the back of the hall.

02:14:26.000 --> 02:14:37.000
You have to be heard from the back of the intelligence of the person you're talking to. You've got to feel, you've got to fill that space with energy.

02:14:37.000 --> 02:14:50.000
Not as Miles was talking last night. Someone comes on stage to do an addition and goes, no, excuse me.

02:14:50.000 --> 02:14:56.000
Miles is at the back of the house. You have to be heard. Oh yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yes.

02:14:56.000 --> 02:15:05.000
I understand that. Yes, I understand. No. It's not enough.

02:15:05.000 --> 02:15:13.000
One of the extraordinary things this I mean there were so many words in today's It's it's magical.

02:15:13.000 --> 02:15:26.000
It's overwhelming. Bella. Any words we have. Or matchless to what you did with the words you had.

02:15:26.000 --> 02:15:36.000
And vote. She wrote it. And she's phenomenal. The last thing I want to talk about.

02:15:36.000 --> 02:15:45.000
Is I. Absolutely. Who knows? Contemporary, popular.

02:15:45.000 --> 02:15:58.000
Music because Unlike, unlike Edith Piaf. Who was trained by, I can't remember his name.

02:15:58.000 --> 02:16:06.000
He kept on saying. I don't understand you. I don't understand you.

02:16:06.000 --> 02:16:19.000
Do it again. You Bella are an example of the first example of what an actor has to do or anybody has to do.

02:16:19.000 --> 02:16:32.000
Is make yourself understood. You were like a bell. I understood every single word. Yeah.

02:16:32.000 --> 02:16:52.000
Not like modern hot. The voice is used as a percussion instrument. Not to attempt not to pass on intelligence.

02:16:52.000 --> 02:17:07.000
You were so clear! The song was absolutely gorgeous. Because I heard every single word. Wonderful.

02:17:07.000 --> 02:17:08.000
Hmm.

02:17:08.000 --> 02:17:16.000
So, Robin, I can't think. And the students who might be here may think I've paid you to say all this because I'm forever saying to them honestly trust the consonants trust the Okay, I really

02:17:16.000 --> 02:17:29.000
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Actually, I mean, Dr. Tyrone Guthrie, the Duck Guthrie Theatre in Minneapolis, and you know, famous British director.

02:17:29.000 --> 02:17:37.000
Would Sam simply stand at the back of the house and say, can't hear? Can't hear!

02:17:37.000 --> 02:17:41.000
And here, do it again!

02:17:41.000 --> 02:17:42.000
It's so fundamental, you idiots. Do your speech properly.

02:17:42.000 --> 02:17:50.000
Robin, Thanks. Beautiful. Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you.

02:17:50.000 --> 02:18:01.000
And I'm wondering if, this, if in terms of, being understood in the whole room, how the whole room might understand something.

02:18:01.000 --> 02:18:16.000
Chever, I wonder if this would be a suitable moment for you to to share with us. How and why when I showed you the film, you thought this might be something that would be relevant for the UN.

02:18:16.000 --> 02:18:25.000
So yes and first we have a question in the chat from Myra that I want to honor. That one moment.

02:18:25.000 --> 02:18:34.000
Where Tilly found peace being by herself. And I don't know if this question is for you, Bella, for you and Miles and me.

02:18:34.000 --> 02:18:37.000
Maybe you're welcome to unmute Myra if you have a, you know, or we can all respond.

02:18:37.000 --> 02:18:40.000
Oh, there see it.

02:18:40.000 --> 02:18:52.000
Yeah, it's an inquiry. That just, that was what. Really impacted me that moment.

02:18:52.000 --> 02:18:53.000
Nice.

02:18:53.000 --> 02:19:01.000
There was so much peace in that moment. And then she lets it go so fast. You know, which is where I've I've seen that over and over again.

02:19:01.000 --> 02:19:16.000
It's a pattern we have and and now observing how the movement of women and them being alone and you know if it's going to a direction that My nod be the.

02:19:16.000 --> 02:19:20.000
It's creating a polarity that might go to a different extreme.

02:19:20.000 --> 02:19:30.000
What I'm really hearing Myra in your question and as you put it in the chat is Do we feel that women are now going to have to?

02:19:30.000 --> 02:19:41.000
Be in solitude to find peace and happiness. And so I see Miles jumping in what let Miles Anthony and Bella and I can throw our 2 cents on the wishing well for this as well.

02:19:41.000 --> 02:19:55.000
No, it's a great question, Myra. I think that that women have to must go and are going more to a communion and it's a communion of women and it's the power of the collective.

02:19:55.000 --> 02:20:07.000
Very much rather than the power of the individual. That will overcome this imbalance. But that's my own personal view.

02:20:07.000 --> 02:20:10.000
Bella, do you wanna get your voice here on that?

02:20:10.000 --> 02:20:12.000
You know, it's a great, moment that you've picked up on there, Myra and also I know of your work so it's all about finding the inner stillness.

02:20:12.000 --> 02:20:20.000
So thank you, for your work, so it's all about finding the inner stillness. So thank you, A for being here and be for sharing that.

02:20:20.000 --> 02:20:30.000
And that was actually a for being here and be for sharing that. And that was actually a moment that This iteration so 10 years on from the original Post me too.

02:20:30.000 --> 02:20:39.000
I dead to let that moment sit a bit longer. Because I, I, 2 reasons. Aesthetically, I thought.

02:20:39.000 --> 02:20:46.000
Let's give the audience a moment of peace. They've heard nothing about that. Okay, let's just sit still for a minute.

02:20:46.000 --> 02:20:54.000
With the Big Tilly and the Little Tilly. And let's see them together for a moment.

02:20:54.000 --> 02:21:07.000
And then from that and this idea of what do you think of what he's done to us? Little Tilly says whatever little toy says me too That is all come in the most recent iteration.

02:21:07.000 --> 02:21:19.000
And it felt as though we needed that moment. To collectively just take a breath. To allow that moment a little bit of space.

02:21:19.000 --> 02:21:36.000
And also then, when the soundscape comes in and we realize Frank is coming back. Yeah, hand on heart when I used to Be in the apartment on my own in London and I would hear the He in the door turn.

02:21:36.000 --> 02:21:52.000
I would have instant Bannock sweaty palms beating heart thinking what's coming in the door now So all of it, it was a static, it was it was rhythmic and it was to hold that moment a little.

02:21:52.000 --> 02:21:53.000
Thank you.

02:21:53.000 --> 02:22:01.000
So, Bella, to answer this question from my perspective, I'm going to answer it by asking you another question.

02:22:01.000 --> 02:22:07.000
Which is now when you feel panic. What do you do?

02:22:07.000 --> 02:22:20.000
Like coherence! I stopped. I slow down my breathing. I allowed the inhale and the exhale to be equal in length.

02:22:20.000 --> 02:22:28.000
I bring to mind something that gives me pleasure. Or compassion or peace or joy or a regenerative feeling.

02:22:28.000 --> 02:22:43.000
And the the supple and and curious thing about all this is when I was a little girl and I would go on stage and if I was gonna get anxious my mom who is a biologist would say Take 3 deep breaths.

02:22:43.000 --> 02:22:49.000
And here's now full disclosure when I was backstage about to go on as an eight-year-old, 9 year old.

02:22:49.000 --> 02:22:56.000
I go, okay, that's my 3 breaths. Like completely denying the point of actual deep breathing.

02:22:56.000 --> 02:23:03.000
So yeah, quick coherence and the point of actual deep breathing. So yeah, quick coherence and the idea that it was in the DNA all along and I didn't quite know the point of actual deep breathing.

02:23:03.000 --> 02:23:05.000
So yeah, quick coherence and the idea that it was in it was in the DNA all along is

02:23:05.000 --> 02:23:15.000
So I just put a link in the chat. Hartmouth, which is the research institute that cultivated the tools and did this neurophysiological.

02:23:15.000 --> 02:23:22.000
Scientific research on what the neuroscience we've been talking about. But that's my answer to you, Myra.

02:23:22.000 --> 02:23:30.000
No. We don't have to be in solitude to find peace and happiness as women. Or as anyone.

02:23:30.000 --> 02:23:44.000
We can operationally engage with a new operating system. In our relationships. And that is really the hope and inspiration of this work together.

02:23:44.000 --> 02:23:52.000
And when Bella first brought me the play to you want to talk about what it was originally called Bella and

02:23:52.000 --> 02:24:01.000
Yes, originally it had a sub title which I had taken from Tilly's autobiography because I just loved it.

02:24:01.000 --> 02:24:15.000
It was Tilly Nobody, colon, catastrophes of love. And so rightly and wisely, Chever said, Can we ditch putting love and catastrophe in the same thing?

02:24:15.000 --> 02:24:17.000
And so, yes, we re-rendered it. We rent.

02:24:17.000 --> 02:24:31.000
Well, now I feel a little bad knowing it was Tilly's words. Here I am, robbing her of her own language but Love is coherence and catastrophes are born of incoherent.

02:24:31.000 --> 02:24:37.000
So this was not if I if Tilly were here and I could bring her into my heartmath class.

02:24:37.000 --> 02:24:44.000
I would say honey. It wasn't the love that was catastrophic. It was your infatuated survival mode.

02:24:44.000 --> 02:24:56.000
You're amygdala in your limbic system. Not the love in your heart and it was the love in your heart that redeemed you That's not a catastrophe.

02:24:56.000 --> 02:25:03.000
That is a miracle and it's a miracle available to each and every one of us. I would.

02:25:03.000 --> 02:25:17.000
Love to spend more time and we I actually have a hard stop and I'm wondering Bella Miles is there anything else you'd like to share and then perhaps?

02:25:17.000 --> 02:25:33.000
Digestion we could play the opening song again. To allow people the portal of music. To come into a relation with this before segueing back into their daily activity.

02:25:33.000 --> 02:25:38.000
Any less things you 2 would like to say or share.

02:25:38.000 --> 02:25:45.000
Well, thank you very much, Sheriff, for getting. This on at the UN. I think it's a great wonderful achievement.

02:25:45.000 --> 02:25:52.000
And let's hope that. Many more people will watch it on YouTube now.

02:25:52.000 --> 02:26:00.000
Beautiful, thank you, Miles. Thank you for creating this incredible work of art together. Both of you.

02:26:00.000 --> 02:26:04.000
And Tilly and Frank.

02:26:04.000 --> 02:26:10.000
That has allowed us this deeper reflection of who we are and who we could be. Bella

02:26:10.000 --> 02:26:25.000
Yeah, I want it true. Thank you, Shiva. Thank you very, very much. I want to truly thank my mom and dad who I know are here and it's late at night in the UK because they they attended very delicately around what was clearly a complicated situation.

02:26:25.000 --> 02:26:33.000
They never interfered and when the moment came for them to I'm gonna use the word rescue me they did.

02:26:33.000 --> 02:26:43.000
And it's thanks to them. We're having this conversation now. So, to mom and dad, thank you for being here and thank you for doing what you did.

02:26:43.000 --> 02:26:55.000
And at that, maybe we could take a moment to focus in the heart. Breathe gratitude to all of our rescuers.

02:26:55.000 --> 02:27:06.000
Who showed us our own empowerment and also compassion to the millions. Of women and girl children who don't have that.

02:27:06.000 --> 02:27:36.000
That we might become that. For them.

02:27:41.000 --> 02:27:45.000
You

02:27:45.000 --> 02:28:00.000
A If there's a secret RAM But be hiding underneath a dream in the sea from which we came together

02:28:00.000 --> 02:28:12.000
Whoa, do that! Cast us out for a century. Bound in chains of slavery Wait and father roots to come together

02:28:12.000 --> 02:28:23.000
Well, tonight for the sake of humanity, in the name of integrity We're.

02:28:23.000 --> 02:28:40.000
You use your gift with For the future of a children, protect our planet If you wish to live and We his

02:28:40.000 --> 02:28:58.000
Ready

02:28:58.000 --> 02:29:14.000
Now this is big and too sprout. When in the world we share races and religions come together We had other words, not stand up for the tree of life.

02:29:14.000 --> 02:29:32.000
Hug the darkness with our light We can heal our pain when we're together We're another world you're not calling our And, others each and every

02:29:32.000 --> 02:30:02.000
Just Words. For voices sanity

02:30:09.000 --> 02:30:24.000
Yah, Hey, ya, ha, ha, ha, ha, here, Ha ha ha ha ha.

02:30:24.000 --> 02:30:35.000
There's a bird in the maze with the sea with the vies and boots of the trees when I'm happy

02:30:35.000 --> 02:30:40.000
With the sun

02:30:40.000 --> 02:30:44.000
And day with the

02:30:44.000 --> 02:30:50.000
And.

02:30:50.000 --> 02:31:20.000
And.

02:31:38.000 --> 02:31:42.000
To

02:31:42.000 --> 02:32:12.000
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Ha ha ha ha ha ha