Don't you, Kaiser Hotel! A room, please. A single. Just for one night.
That her name is Vedicant.
Niement. No. Nobody. Nobody.
To knock my little girls
The.
Good night, Frank V the Kent. Didn't you always tell me easy living people go easily to their deaths?
I don't go easily. Leave with a broken heart.
My sister she had retired but often as we took tea in the adjoining room. Then she let out a scream that falls a blood to all ice she had cut his throat and gutted out her life.
Blood stain under carpet by the jail. My face and I've so cheap What makes a tears so tidal drowning are so deep in thoughts of suicide all confidence is lost yet everybody harsh Just solo at our family.
My mother, she was sewing father's shirt. When murmurs or my sister seized her heart She told a cotton from the needle then you see she swallowed it and followed it with And the needles caused my mother tried to hide till they lodged within her kidneys.
Life so cheap what makes our team so tidal only got so deep in thoughts of suicide all confidence is lost in everybody hide It does so
Soicide.
Tillie never
Tilly Vedicant Oh Terry, nobody!
Oh Oh
Lulu of Course! That's for all the trouble started.
Ladies and gentlemen Let's talk to the zoo. They're mana to be some claw and Joe and woman does too.
It's the first night our friend Bede Kids play Pandava's box And I claim the leading Lord of Nuru.
I'm only 18, I've been acting for years. It's the last act and I'm veiling in the Right again, He's not only the author of the piece, he's also a very famous actor.
That is wonderful man. Not handsome, but think sad. A small mountain and he's shaking.
To blame Jack the Ripper has got stage fright. So. Kiss him backstage. And we make our entrance.
Night after night I see in my dreams The man for whom I was created. And who was created from me?
Was that you, Frank Vader County? Was I created for you. Did you create me?
Is that what happened tonight at any holiness? We're at the house of the famous artist, Emm and Holenson.
He's painting a portrait of me in the Piero costume. It's the main prop in both the Frank's Lulu place, Pandora's box and Earth spirit.
It had one of their spirit the artist Sparts is painting Lulu as a piano but during the sitting Schwartz takes his chances What you're trying to do?
You can't catch me out of this carrot costume. All the kingdoms of the world lie there at my feet.
Mind as a deep ditch, don't fall in. How do I feel? Like I'm born in a river.
Which is colder the river or my heart That's to play. Do not remember me and Harlan says, Drank Edicant is also there.
After dinner, I go up to the studio to put on my Piero costume and totally inverse have elegant and he takes his chances No, I'm not going to kiss you.
You smell of tobacco. Suddenly her VEDICAN stops in his tracks. But this is the first act of Earth spirit!
How do you write such stupid plays, I reply?
What did I say? If Frank Lloyd is stupid and I must be stupid because and Frank's place.
No, Frank's plays are my life, but
Did I become Lulu or? Was Lulu already me? Maybe it's both. Maybe that's why I excel as Lulu.
Why I never present Lulu with a play for teasing ease. She's naive in her depravity, the witching little tease.
She's a gorgeous little, unreserved recognition for such gorgeous little tender is but as for her fade again Yes, as for her pay to kiss.
It's a kill! Well, have they the kit? He writes me a
Dear FI know that. I congratulate you on your success.
Have the inclination for us to play together. I can take no competition with me. Oh
I understand. I'm very logical. After all, I'm an unknown actress and he's a national icon.
So, I go back to Franford and Frank works on his play, Hedala.
But it's not enough. I want to climb that small mountain.
Dear Her Vedicant
To a former. Dearest Frank. Too intimate. Dear have they decant.
It is not nice that you are not taking care of me. I found you very impressive. My director said that your director one might work with me.
It is not easy for me to write personally to your director so I write to you instead.
Did I write Frank into my life or did he write me into his? Who knows, but, October eighteenth till he never arrives in Berlin to star in Frankfurt against Hidala.
October, the nineteenth, Tilly and Frank go to dinner together. She goes back to his place. October 20 eighth Tilly now Vedican's mistress.
November 20 third Tilly and Frank Pose nude for a photographer.
December tenth. Tie and Frank have Manaj Artois. Would actress Eda Orla.
Chilly let's Frank Beat her with a riding crop? Is this the right? Cord Frank you're the master you come on just one slap from your manly hand the Lord comes just one slap from your manly hand the Lord comes washing through my bloodless cheek Let me hurt me, make me weak.
It's here inside me fueled a fire. The aging devil called Whatever he wanted. I gave him pleasure for dad was the bar that would bind us together I have to make a choice about you to form you in art or to love you.
You're a very talented man, Mr. Surely you can do both.
At the end of the evening took E.
After you left, I found dead. Completely empty.
That's not possible. He doesn't believe in your talent. He doesn't believe you're capable of becoming an actress.
Women are actresses by nature because no woman can keep a man happy by being sincere. Not my words. They're yours from your play.
Music. They sound like my words, but they're not. Yes!
Destiny!
Yes, Frank's right. I am in love with my own destiny. We're at a theatrical event in honor of our great poet, Heinrich Heine.
Frank's written a prologue. Is performing at himself.
It's about me! He's written a dedication to me! I said in the stalls and I feel elated.
After the performance, we all go out for champagne.
Hey.
Richard Vine Herbert, a famous composer. Delivery. So much about you I'm not flirting Frank, I'm just being polite.
What's a matter of fact? Yes, of course I like the dedication. That
I said thank you. Established friend if you carry on like this you're so cruel
No, Frank, stop it! If you carry on, I will do something. I don't know what, maybe this.
See That's how much you're insults hurt me.
Good, fine. Let's go home. I'm ready. What did you say, Richard?
Watch out, you kill herself. Where are we going? I don't want to go back to my lodgings.
What is your, You see, your big plump bed!
Where you going, Frank? Don't believe me.
He'll come back in a minute.
Don't tell me you've gone to a bar for a glass of beer? How can you do that?
How can you.
Snow! From
I don't play frank returns. He sees the feathers everywhere and he bursts into a fury.
He grabbed some of my photographs from his sideboard, smashes the glass and stamps on my face.
Yes! The oil! My photographs
I seized a moment and ran out of his apartment. I'm half naked, but I can't bear it any longer.
All right, across the street, 3, I leap straight in. Which is colder to river or his heart!
Oh, stretched towards me! It's the boatman who holds me out of the freezing water Her friend runs down the stone steps.
They wrapped me up in Frank's coat. And then carry me up to his lodgings.
Frank kneels by the bedside and weeps the whole night through.
Weep, Frank. Don't beep.
I have a massive burn on my upper arm where the hot glass cylinder of the oil up must have stuck to me.
I didn't even notice. I wonder I didn't burn myself to a cinder. The next morning.
Sits on the bed. Says
Marry me.
Say the right thing, Tilly. So do I think?
Yes? And thus we are engaged. A dream. Or is it a nightmare?
Should a marry in? Shouldn't I marry him? This marriage a huge threat to my precious independence?
He's 22 years older than me and I'm like wax in his hands.
But if I don't marry Frank. Who am I, Tilly? And if I do marry Frank
Frau, Frank Vedicant? Wife of the famous author?
Should I open this Pandora's box?
I love, I honor. I obeyed. Open. I open.
Till death us do
Yeah And now for the execution.
Oh, wedding feast. A picnic at Munich Zoo. The music?
The snarling and cackling of wild animals. A honeymoon, a trip to Nuremberg.
Well, I suppose you could call it our honeymoon. Its real purpose was our guest performance in Frank's new play, Death.
And the devil. Well, he is not for once in your life the superhuman sacrifice of woman's love is capable of.
All I want of my marriage is to lie at your feet and to listen to you.
Hmm. Nuremberg already.
What time is it?
We take a carriage straight for our hotel where we're creatures by than night quarter.
And, and daughter, is it? Already our marriage is not going well.
Second, excuse me. I don't think his behavior is that surprising. It's 4 o'clock in the morning, I'm young, alone.
Besides, I think he's a little bit tipsy. Thank you, you'll never guess what happened just now.
What are you want me to do? Box the man's ears, challenge him to a deer!
Deed him up or what? I had unwittingly painted the devil on a wall. The devil of jealousy.
And the death of our marriage.
Is this the right?
Okay. But the first is of a marriage you would lord me to the skies. Quite the most to live a creature with the most alonging eyes, but as fast as you can raise me and as high as you could raise me you would throw me to the depths of the, where the tenderness and softness of the kids.
When I glimpse the toys colours of your heart, that was in all the flowing loving at the start but you thought that if you gave me even half of half a chance I would lead you on a merry dagging dogs So you train me like a tiger with your most uneating sticks.
You shouldn't fear me, you should love me, you would say. And I told you my activities and a lot on little cards, every movement I was making every moment of the day because I honor you and cherish and obey.
Playing a wife properly and she'll support her husband twice as easily as he can support How does he handle the intellectual side and difference the marvel, the family.
Even at the tokstuper which you pose on your hardest, I can barely lay my eye before the accusations fly.
I feel we're And all that's left for me to beg forgiveness for the things I didn't do and to offer my apologies for all loving you.
If I can not, I recognize my wife. And let her go and take her own life.
Really, Frank? Is that what you want? Or are you just coaching from your play at Castle Benchine?
I want what you want. My life is still alive. I want so much to make your life peaceful.
Your home beautiful. Try to be an ideal wife for you I shall leave and put a rubber on the heels of my boots so you don't hear me walking around the apartment.
Think? The dead! We mustn't make her very decant. You know how late he sleeps and you know how easily he's disturbed.
No, he's not in good humor at the moment. Oh, I don't know. I think he's unhappy that I'm at rehearsals every day.
Does he not understand I'm still in a five-year contract? Perhaps once an ideal husband opens, he'll be far Yeah.
Yes, Adele, I do get to see Harry Valdon every day. I know he's much adored, but he's also a very fine actor.
That's right. I played a girl he falls in love with. No, don't have anything.
She isn't happy about that either. It's my job, I did. A man came to understand some an actress.
Sometimes. We have to act falling in love with other men.
Of course it's much easier when the man is as charming as Harry No, no, So do I take?
I'll break my contract. Will pull out of an ideal husband. So what if it's a huge success?
So what if I could change my whole career? It doesn't matter just married. Besides a baby.
Me strong value over the whole proceedings. My dad and Frank. I love you very much!
Is my life. Frank is my voice. I love him very much.
There is no point in my helping other playwrights to become successful. That is more important for both of us.
That plays are successful. I understand that. Very logical. Everything that I have gained independently as an artist.
Everything that I have gained independently as an artist.
Everything I have.
Is preferably Forgotten. I have become a person. Only through Frank.
Besides.
You are a very heroic man, Frank Fazikins. Very handsome. Very charming. And you know so well how to create appealing situations.
How do you know Friends and a Ken? How did you? There's a jar lightman's devotion to The selfless v
You affect me very strongly, very strongly indeed. And in return I put on boots.
And costumes. And I know what happens. Tilly's high boots don't let you sleep, do they, Frank, they can't?
My red boots. And my buckskin boom.
And then when I dance for you
And, And, Oh.
Sorry. It's not your fault, you don't give me satisfaction. I just can't seem to reach the
Oh, it's not you. I find you very attractive. Thing is for me has always had a lot to do with erotic stimulation, well you know that, it is for you too.
When I find an act or attractive Scenes on the stage inevitably become
Intense? The free love market where the tigers celebrates her to Things only happened on the stage.
Every time I've been unfaithful, he's found me twice as beautiful. I was stubborn, Frank, these are not my words.
They're yours from your plague, Castle Venus died. Things only happen on the stage.
In front of an audience. The first time I've brought my marriage rouse, lad was the saddest, so stubborn, These are not my words.
Behind the scenes!
What am I supposed to do? You write these parts for me.
And then when night after night you leave me alone to the early morning hours.
I know where you go, Frank. I smell that perfume. Women for you are either holy all forms.
Holy or a horse. And which am I, Holy. Home. Of clung.
As Frank afterwards of Clara for me in his play music.
Listen.
Look, Frank, it's new, Lou. What are you trying to do? You can't catch me.
Not in this pier will cost you. While the kingdoms of the world lie there at my feet.
Mine doesn't deep dare time. Calling. Full thing. How about you?
Forwarding.
What do I say next, Fred?
Please don't silence me. Frank? Please don't leave me!
He's gone again. He's gone. So I'd like to tell you,
My darling Frank, I am powerless against my own self loathing. Please come back to Munich and help me to figure out who
No, no, There is nothing that I want to write.
To you, thing that torments me and you're right there is nothing that I want to write that is so much that I want to tell you to prove a true love But how do I know how you will interpret it?
But I wasn't drowned when I jumped into the river. I am taunted as a cuckold.
People make a mockery of me because of your previous love affairs. Things only happened on the stage, Frank.
In place you wrote for me and me if you don't understand this to me it makes no sense my coming back to you with best regards if Don't believe.
No telegram, please.
Today I run back and forth like a madwoman in my room. I wrote a ladder of 6 pages which I don't dare send for fear of being misunderstood.
So I don't like to say the right thing.
Right to you and your 2 little girls, your children whom you adore and they adore you too.
May not leave this apartment for a while. Who knows if I can even leave this bed? I'm afraid of having a breakdown caused by these experiences.
Have you tried dancing?
Laugh!
Oh
Yes. Suggestion I tried dancing
Was talking about.
6 postcards, 6 telegrams, 22 letters, 6 postcards, 6 telegrams, 22,
Must I be dead to prove that you mean all to me? Tilly n Till the vitacent.
Tilly nobody? Oh Whatever you want, Are you ! Right and to see. 4 different concept 3 of them boys in And it always cause sister doesn't get frank.
People are used to it in the circus but not in the theater. You love the circus, don't you, Frank?
And you love making me show my legs.
The fourth part. A demon creature.
My, yeah. Nightmare. I wear this short little skirt that sticks out like a bed.
And our balance on the wall. It's rolls across the stage.
Because it's very difficult. That's great. Every time.
Is this the right key, Frank? So you try me like a tiger with your most uneating legs and I play my colds and rats and still I exercise this bit I take singing I take dancing and I start to eat all your moments you measure me I know done what I pay and the ideal of a woman that you both from your plane you control my mind your body every day and you trust me up in costumes and you tell me
what to say and I put our girls in children's homes Whenever we're away because I
I could divorce if I wanted to but I know it's far more advantageous to be. Mrs. Tilly Frank Vedicent, the MUST Tilly Nervous, a middle-aged actress in a medial cathedral.
And so we go on our endless guest tours and my world rolls a beat in leap in these bright feet.
Darling, Tristan, Cartes.
Notices, I get good notices. Hello? Frankfurt, Nancy, Ken. Frank gets bad notices.
I get weak Goodbye, girls!
Stuart can't do it! Bad notices, I get bad notices. Stop it!
Stop it!
Why do you condemn us, as actors?
Thank you, to me about diction and articulation and a lot of other skills. I've handed a habitat, cramped and stillhood and I'm not sure enough.
Find it, I guess.
Sorry everybody, I have no idea what
We'll be talking about, ation.
9.
Yep. Stage management.
Anybody?
Somebody just me what to say. Me a line. Falling. Oh into the abyss.
Lost somewhere between the actor I'm decaying to and devoid.
4.
My authentic talents. Talons which used to bring me success are Blocked. Sensors.
Censorship. Franks born act play. Written? Especially for me.
A Pandora's box of a very different kind. My whole life. Drag it up, spewed out.
My mother's melancholia! My father's infidelities, my own desire to be common actress.
Wanna leap into the river spree?
Even the Manager 12 with Iodolov. The intimacy that he failed from me in private.
He displayed unashamedly for the public. A savory thing was displayed, including my body.
More of my legs than ever before. Nothing at all was. Sense so much.
Logan, darling. Would you like me to ride around a room on your walking globe?
Does that not entertain you anymore?
Worth nothing to you. Without an adoring audience.
Walk, you. All you humiliate yourself to endure living with me. I would like doing it if I thought that I could be useful to you but the More, I change myself in a chord with all your wishes, the less I mean to you.
Sometimes you don't even see me when I'm sitting right in front of you.
C to you. Let me explain.
And That I saw a dancer Dance on an elastic wire Benet her feet and thighs were fast and glinting night and her eyes were flashing with desire as she danced across the swinging cable.
And then she
And I see you as you sit there I see you're pressed your legs your lips your hips your hair I see you, your eyes.
Master Gold walked a tight hole above the glinting Thank you. And this was the character that I husband had created for us.
Cracked reflection about to start itself.
And we were willing to play this creature.
We're an actress! It's our survival. After all, without Frank May, the kin too, are we?
Without French words. We had nothing to say.
And say the right thing, Tilly. And say the right thing.
Darling?
No.
And have nothing to say to each other unless it's your camelly crafted dialogue.
And yet strangely it's through Frank's use of our words that we finally free ourselves on stage as cadet in sense ship we're no longer falling We're flying, flying from a dark cage towards the light.
And every night there's thunderous applause. And we're lauded by the critics like.
We're sorry you don't come out so well, Frank. After my death, you will have a wonderful life, so much money and my wonderful reputation.
No fact that is not true. After your death, the girls and I will be sad. Do you hear me?
Just should perhaps know that Frank has been seriously ill for quite swam years. It's his appenzic food.
It won't heal. Watching it to war and derationing, we can't always get what we need.
Very few people know of his illness, not even our 2 little girls. Several times he's been close to death.
But each time he works relentlessly.
We must all forgive him. He's a great man. A true artist.
What's that for? You want to go away? Where? To Bavaria, what do you mean?
Say the writing, Danny.
Sorry.
Understand. I'm very logical.
He wants to go away.
Hello. He's talking about divorce! What am I done to Just a little
That's what I need!
You see Frank, those are your words from your plays, but now they mind, you made the mine.
Where do your words end and my own thoughts begin. Who am I, Frank? Who is Tilly Van to Kent?
10 is too depressed. I have given her parts to another actress. What? I have given your parts to another actor.
I have given your words, my lives. What will I say without my parts? This is the greatest hurt you could ever inflict on me, Frankfurt again.
You have broken our contract. You have betrayed me entirely! Say to my name, Jill, he said the right thing!
Shut up, Tilly. This is the right thing. I haven't put my life, my talent, my whole career entirely a churchy spouse all.
To mention my body. Was all of it for nothing. It was my sacrifice for nothing. You have given my thoughts to another actress, which is serious.
Ha!
Great injustice has been done to me.
Being left out. Code
So quiet. Without him.
So peaceful.
What do you think about what he's done to us?
Me too.
No, already! Crank will return and all our troubles will stop all over again. I would rather die.
For the supplements peers. The ones like to solve in water, faith is a pentex board.
Poison. See?
Oh yes! Go on.
I was, Finally, my sister!
To the psychiatric hospital. Oh! That house! Had the room so small the windows barred the donor keyhole No, don't take my wedding ring!
Of course I won't follow it! I'm not mad!
Oh please Frank, start pacing. I do.
To come here.
Finally, After again! Another ambulance this time! I'm not.
Okay. Oh! That was good. The pain!
First and How much did my skin? No, don't bathe me Hey, my skin!
Finally. Nature helps herself. Out through my skin. The poison.
Every day I'm rubbed with oils. And the room is covered in skin. Snow!
The skin on my hands is as hard as parchment. One day I pull it off like a pair of gloves.
The lines of my life are mapped upon it.
New skin beneath. As tender as a babes.
You skin on my hands.
New life in my soul.
No, Frank. I cannot come back to you. I don't want you near me right now.
I know it's been 2 weeks but I still don't want to see you. I know it's been 4 weeks, but now it's my turn to ask for a divorce.
I have my choices now, my future, my Korea Dear hair director, Ga Haichdat, I would very much like an engagement at your theater.
I used to play Juliet and Viola and Ophelia. You see, Frank, I don't need your words anymore.
I have Shakespeare and Sheila and Gerda. One day I may even have words
Each day I go strong.
And each day I I realise it's not entirely Frank's fault. My depression. It's not entirely Frank's fault.
My sister. Christ. You cut his throat and gutted out her life.
My mother was depressed.
She followed it. Followed it with 3
There is much that is great about Frankfurt. He's a true artist. IA very flawed man.
He himself was in great pain.
We cannot get divorced, Frank. As you yourself wrote in Earth spirit, how can you get divorced when you've gone so much a part of one another that Half of your own son would go to.
I'm all I need.
Time.
And time in details casting you. As for in quote My beloved Tilly. I am living in the same apartment in which our old spring awakening 20 years ago.
The circle is closed. I will die this year.
And despite all the travel. Despite all the pain. Tilly and Frank. Make love again.
Oh, bodies are aching! Our hearts are entranced. Frank writes in his diary. Tonight, Tilly.
Danced.
After days and nights of you not making love to me That putting all our privacy on show as you take your final breath.
And as you stumble to your death my darling somehow we can't let each other go Don't a passion and the pain no longer lure me To the pleasures in the promises of night.
So the way you used to taunt me seems to hunt me down and haunt me with the goals of some forgotten dark delight Tilly dawn says and does she done says she cuss above the veils of silence and despair.
Tilly dawn says she takes a on a law that maybe was a wasn't bad.
Though the softness of us Ian has turned to paper and the glitter of our eyes has lost its shine.
Still the brushing of your lips against the curving of my hips just for the moment seems to kinder the The beating of your heart is like an echo and your rhythm like the oceans on the shore and your breath against my skin holds the confessions of the sins of all those knights in all those arms of all those walls.
And does she cast away the veils of silence after Till he down, she takes a on love that maybe wasn't even Now I start before you naked, like so, maybe for heaven in the 7 veils, beloved to aided, you know my darling, just hold back the break of morning, let me dance or let me dance or let me dance or let me dance or let me dance or let me dance or let me
dance or let me dance or let me dance or let me dance or let me dance or let me dance or let me dance or let me dance or let me dance please let me dance my darling
That night? I slept in our bed. Power of politics.
Oh, Frank. I'm dressed already, so early.
From back? Isn't that where your doctors?
You're going into hospital again. I had no idea.
Come with you.
I visited Frank. Almost every day. Sometimes I brought the children down.
His first operation went very well. And so I brought him flowers.
Good call.
A few days later they performed a second operation. Didn't go so well. And during the night, Frank came down with a fever.
To live. Silly. The next morning they telephoned me. Complications they said.
Me.
Okay. Come on, even outside the hospital and down to corridor I could hear him calling.
Frank!
3 or 4 doctors came in for a consultation. I was sent out.
Then one of the doctors came outside to meet me.
There is no longer any hope, is there?
Oh!
I left a
Then they brought us champagne. Just like in Earth spirit when Dr. Seern asks Lulu for champagne.
Just after she's fatally shot him.
Frank asked me to feed him the champagne from my mouth.
He breathed heavily.
I held his hand.
You're here, my darling T.
Don't
Suddenly he started to breathe gaspingly.
Ha! I was breathing claspingly too.
He had died! Oh
Can we really really can tell you.
Thank you. Ha ha! Oh, say the right thing, I do my thing.
Tilly's somebody.
Oh.
Tilly. Somebody.
Me
Oh
The the Oh
The
I was over 80 years old when I wrote my memoirs. No, the role of my life.
Frank had been dead for nearly 50 years.
After several Break dogs? My young doctors suggested I write my story. Mood lifting medicine they called my treatment.
No, the role of my life.
My own words. My own voice.
Who was you? Whoa, Tilly. Earth's village, a spirit of nature. Pandora's Box.
Deblinger of disaster.
Maybe it's time to Hello, De Barks. Draw a veil over all that has passed.
And leave inside.
Way of
Art von to me Never. I was born in April. In 1,886.
I was wrapped in a baby spinner. And on my little head I wore a veil. Since then I have always loved Sales.
감사합니다 맛있어요.
Welcome, you're getting lots of brothers in the chats, Bella. We wanna give you a moment to be with what you just saw.
And heard and witnessed and experienced.
I invite you to focus your attention in the area around the heart.
The chest area.
Imagining the breath is flowing in through the heart and out through the heart.
Two's empowerment and being somebody didn't come.
From performing on a stage or. Being hired and engaged in the economics of entertainment.
It came finally when in her own words she said someday I might have words of my own.
The medicine was writing. And I wanna give you all a moment. In digestion of what you've witnessed to write down whatever is here for you.
Or yourself. What to do experience?
And I'm gonna give you a couple of minutes in silence. So right.
If you're looking for some writing prompts. Did you notice when the characters, by the way, a reminder, these were real human beings?
Could you stay connected to honoring them as human?
Not just characters. Did you witness when they were incoherent or coherent? Did you travel with them into incoherent.
And as happened for herd ambassador community when we screened this. To this stir any stories of your own.
From your own life. You might write about all of those things or whatever you feel prompted to write.
One of the reasons we loved this piece. At the FUHRH Foundation is because Tilly story in some ways is Everyone's story.
As humanity is moving from. Simply. Playing out, reenacting. Inculturated survival mode.
Roles that have been handed down through generations of intergenerational trauma.
To becoming the authors of a new reality. That we write ourselves. From the intelligence of our inner being and our own heart.
So I wanna give you a little map of where we're going. For the remainder of our time.
I'm going to give you a tiny bit of the promise to neuroscience in your flyer.
With a tool to access that inner wisdom and intelligence. Let's say it like this. Your own words.
That you might help author a new reality of true empowerment. Not just for women, but for all rather than exploitation.
And the science behind that. We'll give you an exercise to find those words in yourself. And then we'll open the lines.
For you to engage with very unique opportunity for us to have the writer, the actor, and the director of this play here with us.
And for those who can stay for the after party.
And then, if you are interested, we'll create some breakouts for you to share with one another the impact of this on you or your own stories.
Is that work for everyone? Bella, are you good with this? Structure in the time we have left.
Absolutely. Thank you so much, Chabra. I appreciate we only have about 13 min or so left for the formal part.
So those who have to leave have to leave. Thank you deeply for being here.
Yeah, so I know some of you are going to other UN events. Some of you are going to bed and I want to let you know all of the remainder of this.
Except the breakout rooms will be recorded. And you can write to us at support. At hard ambassadors.
Dot com and putting that in the chat. To request the recording. I also want to say that if you would like a complementary consultation on how to access your own.
Hearts words. To author your own life. We are providing that for those in attendance today and the link to sign up for that is in the chat.
So why are women at the top of their game presented in the nude? You heard it happened to Tilly as early as the 18 and 90 early 19 hundreds.
She posed for naked pictures back then. Why, why? I'm gonna give you my peanuts.
Lucy's 2 cent.
Neuroscience. Opinion on this.
Remember the heart rhythms we looked at earlier.
Well, those heart rhythms change the way the brain works.
And so.
Incoherent heart rhythms, which are a function of survival mode. Fight flight freeze appease.
Could you see that in Tilly's story? Could you see her and Frank going into? Fight flight freeze appease.
That shuts down the higher functions of the brain.
Visionary foresight, innovative problem solving, verbal communication, the very things we need to manifest the UN sustainable development goals.
When we talk about economics.
Because people have associated money with their basic needs, shelter, food on the table. Survival. We have conflated survival mode with our economies.
Sexuality until it is evolved in a human system. An expression of survival mode because it is how the species survives through procreation.
As women have entered the economy, we've conflated their sexuality. And our survival sexually with economics.
And we have exploited women's bodies. Through that conflation.
We can change that.
This heart rhythm trace literally changes in one heartbeat.
With the technique you practiced earlier. We'll do it now. Focusing attention on the area around the heart.
The Chest area.
Imagining the breath is flowing in through the heart and out through the heart.
Breathing a little slower, a little deeper than usual.
It's helpful to create physiological coherence and the shift. From one operating system to another, from survival to thriving.
When the inhale and the exhale are even in length.
If you find it helpful, you can count as you breathe in.
And count as you breathe out to invite that even inhale.
Even Excel.
As you do that. You are self regulating over 1,400 things in your physiology.
Including the part of your brain perceiving life and responding to it.
Now I invite you to breathe in through the heart and out through the heart a feeling of appreciation. Or compassion.
Or someone or something in your life.
As you breathe in through the heart.
And out through the heart.
Perhaps we could all breathe compassion for in this exploitation we've witnessed.
In these art forms we observed today.
And from this. Place. Of appreciation. Let's also breathe appreciation for Bella and her partner Miles.
For the creation of this work.
As we breathe in through the heart.
And out through the heart.
And now notice. The changes in your body. Emotions and thoughts.
And ask your inner intelligence what we would call your heart intelligence for its perspective on what you wrote earlier.
Is there anything your heart would like you to know or see? And take a moment to write down whatever comes to you.
Some people are putting it in the chat. Hannah wrote time to change the narrative. Yes, and that is a new story we want to author together.
Give me a thumbs up or an emoji if
Your heart's response was different from your initial reaction. And it's quality. Was there a different response?
Your heart gave me.
I'm just curious. You wrote your initial reaction to the play. I see some people nodding. Gene is nodding.
We'll get to hear from those who wish to share. In the after party.
We believe that the Fira Foundation and that tool we just did is called the freeze frame technique, slightly modified.
From the heart Math Institute and for those who wish we will send the technique. In worksheet form out with the recording of this.
If you request it. At support. Heart ambassadors.com.
Einstein said we cannot.
Solve the world's problems from the level of thinking that created them. We have to shift from survival in imperative to collective.
Thriving to do that. And this simple physiological shift to heart intelligence. Is the way we do that here.
That can empower us to make new choices. Because we are not passive in bibers or consumers of culture.
What we tolerate in our athletes attire in our entertainers.
Creates culture.
With the power of the heart. We can become more conscious consumers and therefore curators. And creators.
Of our culture.
Bella, I want to give you, the final word of our official panel. Presentation and then we'll have a little after party for those who can stay.
To share your words and experience and ask. Questions of Miles and Bella. Or Bella and Mes.
Thank you so much, and thank you everybody for the attention and the thoughtfulness in the comments. And my parting.
Response really is that I know I have students who are in the midst here. And I thank you for being here.
And I'm aware that young people go out into the entertainment industry. When the 2122 23 barely Oh, aware of who they are outside of education or family.
So this ability to listen to your true self and your own artistry and how to evolve and work forward with that is is so important and I think these tools that you've shared with a Shiva and a little bit of them I tease into my acting classes.
Are incredibly helpful and simple. So thank you and thanks to everybody for going on the journey with us over these 2 h.
Thank you.
And it's not even, right? 2122. For those who choose to stay, I could share a story of me when I was 9.
Explated in the entertainment industry. Young. But we're all young in our survival mode. It's the infantile brain.
And we can all access the power of the heart to evolve. Not only ourselves, but our culture.
So thank you for your participation in the commission on the status of women. And Tara was saying, yes, she's familiar with this.
Wonderful comments coming in through the chat. I encourage everyone to read through it. Thank you. So much everyone.
For being here in Hannah's words. To help us rewrite the narrative. And with that for those who need to get to your next event, we will record the rest.
I invite you to find in the lower task bar. If you scroll to the right. There's a place where it says reactions.
And if you click on that, it gives you the option to raise your hand. Well, it will allow you to ask a question.
And I think what I will do. Is Miles also available for questions as the director? Bella.
Is that a yes?
He is, I think he's outside.
He's outside. Well, he just put something in the chat.
Miles, are you available for comment?
Yeah.
He's trying to figure out how to unmute himself.
Alright, I'm going to also spotlight miles and of course I'm happy to take questions as well.
If anyone would like to raise your hand. And has a question for the artists. Or a comments.
Here we go. You're also, we're small enough that you're also welcome to just simply unmute yourself.
And share some of these beautiful comments about the impact of this piece of work and incredible art. In the chat.
You're welcome to so unmute and share them. With others here.
So, while people are are sorting out, here we go. There's a question in the chat.
How much time did it take you, Miles, and Bella to prepare for this performance.
Thank you Veronica and in a in a way I'm gonna sort of unpack that word prepare because there's obviously the preparation one does immediately before performance and then there's the preparation leading up to this and as I outlined at the in my little spiel it's taken 30 years to get to where it is now.
In terms of the first iteration, and Miles, do you want to talk a little bit about the, the rehearsal process?
Well, I think if you remember, we just threw it about. There was a lot of improvisation.
We, we started with a basic script that Bella had written really. I mean, I'd occasionally made the odd contribution, but I think it's largely, you know, 95% Bellas writing.
And so we were up at Davis, in fact, to UC Davis. And we, yeah, we knew we had, we wanted to do a performance of it.
We were a great believers in the power of theater and how it can Change people's ideas.
And we, I think we've really started it was a period of about 4 weeks, 5 weeks when we really got down to it.
And decided what we wanted to do. We knew for instance that I think Frank Bedkin had tried to get Tilly to walk on a ball.
I don't, and so we knew that was the instance one element of the, of the piece.
And as we progress through rehearsals We just found certain moments that we wanted to highlight and other moments that we didn't and I remember we cut.
The odd line here and there, but very it's very much the piece is very much as it was written.
I don't know if that's your recollection, but it was a long time ago.
Yes, then the only other thing I would add is that we knew that I mean what solo pieces are tricky because you're asking the audience to attend to one voice and one face for an awfully long period of time.
So the we knew that we needed Frank and Tilly to appear as puppets and we knew actually there's one moment you hear Frank's voice and that's Miles so he makes his appearance and and the the puppets were an important thing.
We we structured it so that we knew every say around about every 7 min there would be a different moment as Miles would say a moment of magic of some sort because we knew to go to the place of depth that Tilly's autobiography takes, we needed levity and surprise and joy.
And we also wanted to be a bit misterous when I said to Miles that I wanted to write a moment where it was as if I had forgotten my lines.
He said, why do you want to do that to the audience? But it was a way of showing that because Tilly herself suffered stage fright.
It was a way of us collectively going on the journey together, collectively breathing through that moment of, I don't know who I am, I don't know what I say next.
And for that peeling away of the onion layers to show the vulnerability of somebody standing. In front of a group of people, and not knowing what they say next.
It's a tricky question because Miles and I could talk for hours about it. So we should put a PIN in it there.
But thank you for the question.
Well, I don't know that you need to PIN it there, but I you're reminding me Bella, an experience I had seeing it this time.
Right in that moment where you forgot your line and then there's a place where you almost admonish the audience Why are you so critical of us?
And it gave me chills this time because it is so easy for us as consumers of culture to dehumanize that which we are looking at or.
Listening to. Rather than and so. It is such a wake up call and I loved that nuance of that invitation from you in the writing.
And you gotta thank you from Veronica. For answering the question. Does anyone else have something you'd like to ask or share?
So I'm seeing Yoshi's question in the chat and I want to share that Yoshi is one of my really wonderful students.
So I thank you for that question. When playing Tilly, did you ever blend some of your own feelings, experiences and emotions into Tilly or did you create Tilly as a completely separate being from yourself?
How did you train for the board? We'll get to that in a moment. Well, they always a plan to have more of a bear open stage and if so, how did you guys go about playing with the space and if so, how did you guys go about playing with this space?
Okay, lots and lots of stuff there. Okay, lots and lots of stuff there. All right, so, and lots of stuff there.
All right, so, and lots of stuff there. All right, so, and Yoshi to some extent may have a little bit of insider.
All right, so, and Yoshi to some extent may have a little bit of insider info here because of having taken a few of info here because of having taken a few of my acting classes but it's for me it's always a blend of what the playwright's given or the screenwriters given and they don't necessarily know us at the time they're writing but also our authenticity our
truth in our lives so it's where do those 2 overlap. And the truth is have invested more in Tilly as I've got older because I've the paradox is the more distance I have on my first encounter with Lou Lou and Chilly's life and Frank's life.
The more distance I have, the more I can actually go deeply into it. And the image I always use for for acting is it's a little bit like being a really well crafted flute.
The flutes well made but it's empty. And the words come into the flu like the music and the breath come into the flute to create that music.
So in some respects again it's a contradiction but to some extent I try and vacate my feelings in order that the feelings can come through.
There's part one, part 2. Miles, do you want to say anything about the ball stunt.
Well, you, I remember we knew we knew that Tilly had to walk on the ball. And then at one, it it was one afternoon.
Bellis was that walked on the ball and then she'd learned to walk on the ball through my son.
My son had done gymnastics at at school and he was able to help her. On the ball how to balance the ball.
But when it came to rehearsing it, she then sang a song, the song on the, which she sings on the ball afterwards and I said Well, why don't you walk on the ball and Play the loot at the same time and she said, well, what do you mean walk on the ball and play the loot and sing and walk on the ball and I said yeah why not she said well I'm not
sure I'm like gonna do that. And I said, well, of course you can do that.
Just do it. Go on, do it. And the very first time she did it, it worked.
And so we kept it in. And then, you know, we were, we're a bit naughty because We wanted to we wanted to egg the audience on so we knew that there was a moment when she goes up to the ball and then she says Well, it's very difficult, you know, and it's a great laugh.
She does that and there were moments as Bella has said before that we wanted to just We wanted to test the audience.
It was like when she when she forgot her lines and she then basically makes the audience feel very uncomfortable.
And I think that was part of us trying to, that, you know, realizing that the audience were going to feel uncomfortable anyway about the peace.
It's it's a rather harrowing piece of times. But I think that was all in there.
In the mix.
If I could just evolve that a little bit as well, that it's not so much tech for me.
I mean, obviously there's the directors outside perspective. There's the actor writers inside perspective.
I, it was more play with the audience. And I used that with very Definitely that we are playing together.
And when I said to Miles, I want to have this moment where it looks like I've lost my forgotten my lines and he said why do you want to do that and I said because I wanted to have this organic moment together he said oh only if you bring the audience back to safety very quickly.
So I knew that in the crafting of that I would sew in this idea of throw me a line, throw me a line, I'm falling, I'm with the recurring images of falling in the river jumping in the river.
And also I suffered chronic stage fright for about 7 years and I in fact ended up writing a book on it because I needed to understand what was happening in my brain.
And and the recurring image for people who suffer stage fry and I noticed that somebody in the chat said, oh it's Melinda, they're off and stage fright can feel like falling into an abyss of lots of famous actors such as Olympia.
Lots of famous actors such as Olympia, are lots of famous actors such as Olympia Dukakis, Lawrence Olivier, have, have said, of famous actors such as Olympia Dukakis, Lawrence Olivier have said that moment of stage fight is like this black void.
So I was playing with recurring images that people who's like this black void. So I was playing with recurring images that people who've had stage for is like this black void.
So I was playing with recurring images that people who've had stage 5 feel and playing with the audience and I valued Miles saying only if we bring the audience back to safety.
The other thing I should say about the walking on the ball. Is, there's a paradox in that as well.
What Miles's son Max taught me was to move the ball forward you have to walk backwards and I love this idea of counterpoint or to use some of the.
Terminology that Chevy uses in different contexts the polarity to go forwards I need to go backwards that that balancing is kind of pleasurable.
It's also terrifying. I get scared every time I do it. But also, I was very aware.
That there's that delicacy that Miles and I could be mirroring Frank and Tilly.
The Frank got Tilly to walk on a ball and she had a much smaller ball and I should say the smaller the ball the harder it is.
And he got it to walk on a small ball with heels on little character shoe heels. I don't do that.
I do it in in So that flat rubber plims. And when we first did it, I had a very light, a 3 foot ball.
It's now 2 feet. So the smaller the ball the faster and but it's easier to tour to football than a 3 football.
But I, I was always suckly aware that we were mirroring what Frank got to need to do by Miles saying, yeah, walk on the ball.
Yeah, we'll go on the ball and play the loot. Yeah, walk on the ball and play the loop and sing.
But it was with pleasure and complicity as as actor, director, creative artist. And the final thing is in your questions, Yoshi, yeah we initially had a much bigger set and that's almost why I didn't do much with Tilly for 10 years was because the set was too big.
Then when we had this invitation 2 years ago to take it to the East Coast, that was when we went, okay, let's now get a set that's much more manageable.
And actually it's always thanks to the diff, that when you've put about the different atmospheres.
The atmosphere is a created. To some extent through the rhythm of what we're doing and to a large extent through the lighting.
And I have to thank Ben Tusher who is the production manager and the lighting designer at UC Riverside because in a moments, you know, he had about a day to do it.
He created some beautiful atmospheres. So thanks to that. Thank you. For that series of questions, Yoshi.
I hope that answers them.
Thank you, Bella and Miles. I want to add one thing and then we're going to get Steph in.
Which is when you talk about stage fright. And how stage freight leads to forgetting the line.
That is the very neurological physiology we've been talking about. That fight, right?
That's the stage freight. Freeze appease is the physiology going into survival mode in a situation that isn't survival based.
And it even shuts down the memory centers.
And so it's pointing to the fact to me that what I personally took away from Tilly. Nobody becoming Tilly somebody.
And at some point, Bella, perhaps before we close up shop in the next 15 min, you and I can share the evolution of My input to you on the taking the upside of the story rather than the downside that was that was its own commission on the status of women.
Evolution of the process.
That we can't economically empower women or empower women and girls. Just by creating outer contexts of empowerment and opportunities for engagement.
Without giving them tools to access their inner power, whatever the circumstance.
And with that, I am going to replace. Myself here.
With Steph.
I'm going to say something. Amazing. I'm going to say something. Love, love.
Love the the drying moment as an actor who has made a career of drying on stage. And Miles is saying, yes, you have to bring him back.
Somehow you got to get you've got to find your way back somehow anyway something that we talked about last night, Miles.
Bella. About the this is about the actors craft or the obligation and why not
Given the context, make this about women.
You have an obligation to pass your energy to whoever is listening.
And if that involves. A house of actor, a house of audience that is some distance away.
It's the same thing as in a room.
In context of intelligence that you have an obligation to fill the space. You have to be heard from the back of the hall.
You have to be heard from the back of the intelligence of the person you're talking to. You've got to feel, you've got to fill that space with energy.
Not as Miles was talking last night. Someone comes on stage to do an addition and goes, no, excuse me.
Miles is at the back of the house. You have to be heard. Oh yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yes.
I understand that. Yes, I understand. No. It's not enough.
One of the extraordinary things this I mean there were so many words in today's It's it's magical.
It's overwhelming. Bella. Any words we have. Or matchless to what you did with the words you had.
And vote. She wrote it. And she's phenomenal. The last thing I want to talk about.
Is I. Absolutely. Who knows? Contemporary, popular.
Music because Unlike, unlike Edith Piaf. Who was trained by, I can't remember his name.
He kept on saying. I don't understand you. I don't understand you.
Do it again. You Bella are an example of the first example of what an actor has to do or anybody has to do.
Is make yourself understood. You were like a bell. I understood every single word. Yeah.
Not like modern hot. The voice is used as a percussion instrument. Not to attempt not to pass on intelligence.
You were so clear! The song was absolutely gorgeous. Because I heard every single word. Wonderful.
Hmm.
So, Robin, I can't think. And the students who might be here may think I've paid you to say all this because I'm forever saying to them honestly trust the consonants trust the Okay, I really
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Actually, I mean, Dr. Tyrone Guthrie, the Duck Guthrie Theatre in Minneapolis, and you know, famous British director.
Would Sam simply stand at the back of the house and say, can't hear? Can't hear!
And here, do it again!
It's so fundamental, you idiots. Do your speech properly.
Robin, Thanks. Beautiful. Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you.
And I'm wondering if, this, if in terms of, being understood in the whole room, how the whole room might understand something.
Chever, I wonder if this would be a suitable moment for you to to share with us. How and why when I showed you the film, you thought this might be something that would be relevant for the UN.
So yes and first we have a question in the chat from Myra that I want to honor. That one moment.
Where Tilly found peace being by herself. And I don't know if this question is for you, Bella, for you and Miles and me.
Maybe you're welcome to unmute Myra if you have a, you know, or we can all respond.
Oh, there see it.
Yeah, it's an inquiry. That just, that was what. Really impacted me that moment.
Nice.
There was so much peace in that moment. And then she lets it go so fast. You know, which is where I've I've seen that over and over again.
It's a pattern we have and and now observing how the movement of women and them being alone and you know if it's going to a direction that My nod be the.
It's creating a polarity that might go to a different extreme.
What I'm really hearing Myra in your question and as you put it in the chat is Do we feel that women are now going to have to?
Be in solitude to find peace and happiness. And so I see Miles jumping in what let Miles Anthony and Bella and I can throw our 2 cents on the wishing well for this as well.
No, it's a great question, Myra. I think that that women have to must go and are going more to a communion and it's a communion of women and it's the power of the collective.
Very much rather than the power of the individual. That will overcome this imbalance. But that's my own personal view.
Bella, do you wanna get your voice here on that?
You know, it's a great, moment that you've picked up on there, Myra and also I know of your work so it's all about finding the inner stillness.
So thank you, for your work, so it's all about finding the inner stillness. So thank you, A for being here and be for sharing that.
And that was actually a for being here and be for sharing that. And that was actually a moment that This iteration so 10 years on from the original Post me too.
I dead to let that moment sit a bit longer. Because I, I, 2 reasons. Aesthetically, I thought.
Let's give the audience a moment of peace. They've heard nothing about that. Okay, let's just sit still for a minute.
With the Big Tilly and the Little Tilly. And let's see them together for a moment.
And then from that and this idea of what do you think of what he's done to us? Little Tilly says whatever little toy says me too That is all come in the most recent iteration.
And it felt as though we needed that moment. To collectively just take a breath. To allow that moment a little bit of space.
And also then, when the soundscape comes in and we realize Frank is coming back. Yeah, hand on heart when I used to Be in the apartment on my own in London and I would hear the He in the door turn.
I would have instant Bannock sweaty palms beating heart thinking what's coming in the door now So all of it, it was a static, it was it was rhythmic and it was to hold that moment a little.
Thank you.
So, Bella, to answer this question from my perspective, I'm going to answer it by asking you another question.
Which is now when you feel panic. What do you do?
Like coherence! I stopped. I slow down my breathing. I allowed the inhale and the exhale to be equal in length.
I bring to mind something that gives me pleasure. Or compassion or peace or joy or a regenerative feeling.
And the the supple and and curious thing about all this is when I was a little girl and I would go on stage and if I was gonna get anxious my mom who is a biologist would say Take 3 deep breaths.
And here's now full disclosure when I was backstage about to go on as an eight-year-old, 9 year old.
I go, okay, that's my 3 breaths. Like completely denying the point of actual deep breathing.
So yeah, quick coherence and the point of actual deep breathing. So yeah, quick coherence and the idea that it was in the DNA all along and I didn't quite know the point of actual deep breathing.
So yeah, quick coherence and the idea that it was in it was in the DNA all along is
So I just put a link in the chat. Hartmouth, which is the research institute that cultivated the tools and did this neurophysiological.
Scientific research on what the neuroscience we've been talking about. But that's my answer to you, Myra.
No. We don't have to be in solitude to find peace and happiness as women. Or as anyone.
We can operationally engage with a new operating system. In our relationships. And that is really the hope and inspiration of this work together.
And when Bella first brought me the play to you want to talk about what it was originally called Bella and
Yes, originally it had a sub title which I had taken from Tilly's autobiography because I just loved it.
It was Tilly Nobody, colon, catastrophes of love. And so rightly and wisely, Chever said, Can we ditch putting love and catastrophe in the same thing?
And so, yes, we re-rendered it. We rent.
Well, now I feel a little bad knowing it was Tilly's words. Here I am, robbing her of her own language but Love is coherence and catastrophes are born of incoherent.
So this was not if I if Tilly were here and I could bring her into my heartmath class.
I would say honey. It wasn't the love that was catastrophic. It was your infatuated survival mode.
You're amygdala in your limbic system. Not the love in your heart and it was the love in your heart that redeemed you That's not a catastrophe.
That is a miracle and it's a miracle available to each and every one of us. I would.
Love to spend more time and we I actually have a hard stop and I'm wondering Bella Miles is there anything else you'd like to share and then perhaps?
Digestion we could play the opening song again. To allow people the portal of music. To come into a relation with this before segueing back into their daily activity.
Any less things you 2 would like to say or share.
Well, thank you very much, Sheriff, for getting. This on at the UN. I think it's a great wonderful achievement.
And let's hope that. Many more people will watch it on YouTube now.
Beautiful, thank you, Miles. Thank you for creating this incredible work of art together. Both of you.
And Tilly and Frank.
That has allowed us this deeper reflection of who we are and who we could be. Bella
Yeah, I want it true. Thank you, Shiva. Thank you very, very much. I want to truly thank my mom and dad who I know are here and it's late at night in the UK because they they attended very delicately around what was clearly a complicated situation.
They never interfered and when the moment came for them to I'm gonna use the word rescue me they did.
And it's thanks to them. We're having this conversation now. So, to mom and dad, thank you for being here and thank you for doing what you did.
And at that, maybe we could take a moment to focus in the heart. Breathe gratitude to all of our rescuers.
Who showed us our own empowerment and also compassion to the millions. Of women and girl children who don't have that.
That we might become that. For them.
You
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